Beauty and the Bricks
by Queenbean3
Summary: Ralph tripped over his tongue, feeling more uncomfortable than ever. He didn't want to dance with this weird, creepy lady, but he also didn't want to offend a fellow Bad Guy. And for the life of him, he still couldn't remember what the heck her name was.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: In Which Ralph Catches a Garter

Felix and Calhoun's wedding reception was in full swing. Sprites of all shapes and sizes and from all kinds of games were there. Felix had invited all the Nicelanders from home along with Q*bert and the rest of the formerly homeless new guys. A whole squad of Calhoun's space marines was relaxing after standing watch for Cybugs. The couple had also allowed the best man and maid of honor to invite their own friends. Ralph invited everyone from Bad Anon while Vanellope invited all her racers and candy citizens. Only about half of the invitees showed up, but they made a good-sized party nonetheless. Also among the more famous guests were Sonic the Hedgehog, Ryu, Chun Li, and Tapper.

Besides the bride and groom, no one was happier to be there than Ralph and Vanellope. This was the first time either of them had ever been invited to a party, let alone a wedding. Not only that, but they were given positions of privilege to the wedding couple. Three months ago such a thing would have been beyond imagining for both of them.

As the night wore on, the energy level was still high. The newlyweds had their first dance, followed by much cheering and toasting, then a big fancy buffet dinner. Then the party officially kicked in, which of course involved music and dancing.

Now the latest of several wedding traditions had just been announced; the bouquet and garter toss. While the emcee explained the event, Vanellope was bouncing up and down excitedly on her chair, rustling the multiple layers of crinkly candy wrappers that made up her puffy pink dress. Ralph towered over her in a tuxedo, picking at the hors d'oeuvres on his plate and watching the tiny girl with an amused smirk on his lips. He couldn't blame her for being thrilled about every little thing that happened. The kid was still getting used to being able to leave her own game. So of course something like catching flowers at a wedding would seem interesting to her.

"Come on, Ralph!" Vanellope squealed, eyes sparkling with delight. "We gotta get in on this! These chumps don't stand a chance against us! I'll catch the bouquet, and you can catch the garter!"

Ralph arched a doubtful eyebrow. "You do know what it means if that happens, right?"

She rolled her hazel eyes at him, as if the answer was the most obvious thing in the world. "Uh, yeah. We win the game. Duh!"

His smirk widened into a gap-toothed grin. "Not quite. It means we'll be the next people to get married."

"What?!" Vanellope gasped, eyes wide with shock. For a nine-year-old girl permanently in the 'boys are icky' phase, this was truly horrible news. She cringed in revulsion at the implications of marrying a man who was not only her best friend, but three decades older than her. "Ewww! No offense, Ralph, but there's no way I'm ever gonna marry you!"

Ralph rolled his eyes, pretending to be offended. "Sorry, didn't realize I was such lousy husband material."

Vanellope pouted and put her tiny hands on her hips. "Not that, dummy. I mean, you're old enough to be my dad! That's just… Ewww!" She poked a gloved finger in her mouth and made a retching noise to emphasize her point.

"Well, you're young enough to be my daughter, so the feeling's mutual. Besides, it's not like any of that stuff's for real. All we'd have to do is dance with each other."

She blinked a few times in surprise. "Really? Just dancing?" Then she narrowed her eyes at him in annoyance. "Humph. You could've told me that before I started freaking out."

"Yeah, I could have," Ralph chuckled, grinning as he gently nudged her cheek with one giant knuckle. She couldn't stay mad at him when he did that. "You can still try catching the bouquet, if you want to. Who knows? Maybe the guy who catches the garter won't be such a creepy weirdo."

Vanellope smiled back at him. "Nah, I'll just sit here with you and watch. If I'm gonna dance with somebody, it's not gonna be a guy who chases after a ladies' unmentionables."

Meanwhile, all the other female guests in the reception hall were crowding around Calhoun. The bride was standing with her back to the group and waving the bouquet of white lilies tauntingly over her head. The Sugar Rush racers and Nicelanders shrieked and hopped up and down, reaching and grasping desperately over each other for the prize.

Two women stood head and shoulders above all the others at the very back of the crowd. The more athletic of the two was none other than Chun Li. The other was an elfish, blue-skinned lady with long, deep blue hair and a slinky red dress. The two women were glaring at each other in a plainly competitive way.

Ralph scooped Vanellope up to sit on his shoulder so she could get a better view of the action. They exchanged some amused chuckles. This was gonna be good.

The bride tossed the bouquet behind her. Predictably, it sailed several feet over the Sugar Rushers and the Nicelanders, too high for them to reach even when they jumped. Chun Li broke away from glaring at her elfish opponent and made an impressive, athletic leap straight up in the air. Just when it looked like the bouquet was about to fall right into her grasp, a blue and red blur swept past her and snatched the flowers away in midair. Chun Li cried out in dismay, landing in a crouch on the floor.

The blue-haired woman in the red dress descended gracefully and stopped to hover several inches above the ground, holding the bouquet of white lilies in her arms. Then she raised a flat palm under her chin with the pinky bent, and laughed a long, high-pitched and very gloating laugh. The little sprites behind her backed away nervously. Chun Li just groaned, frustrated and defeated.

Back at his table, Ralph placed Vanellope down on her chair and rolled his eyes at the blue-haired woman's triumphant cackling. "Yeesh. I feel sorry for the poor chump who gets stuck dancing with that screwball dame."

Vanellope watched the laughing woman with interest rather than fear. She was obviously a Bad Guy, and unlike most kids her age, Vanellope didn't have much reason to be scared of Bad Guys, since her best friend happened to be one. Besides Ralph and this weird lady, some of the other Bad Guys who had come to the wedding were Zangief, M. Bison, Zombie, and the King Beholder. The motley crew was now gathering around to congratulate their female friend on her victory, and they all seemed to be genuinely happy for her.

"Hey, Ralph," Vanellope said, craning her neck to look up at him. "Isn't that screwball dame one of your friends from that Bad Guys only club?"

"Friends?" Ralph echoed, as if he'd never thought about it before. "Well, yeah, we're both in Bad Anon, but I don't really know her well enough to call her my friend. I've never really talked to her outside the meetings. Heck, I can't even remember what her name is."

Vanellope smirked and nudged Ralph's massive forearm with her tiny elbow. "Maybe you should try hanging out with kids your age once in a while, chumbo. Might be good for your people skills, ya know?"

"You're not the boss of me, Little Miss President," Ralph joked. "I'm old enough to be your dad, remember?"

Their friendly teasing was interrupted by a chorus of male voices whistling and whooping. Felix, flustered and blushing, was reaching under Calhoun's dress to clumsily remove the garter from her thigh. When the groom finally produced the lacy white garment, the men cheered even louder and gathered to form a crowd.

All except for Ralph, who remained seated firmly in his spot and showed no sign of budging.

"Aren't you gonna try an' catch it?" Vanellope asked.

"Why? So I can look like a fool with those guys chasing after Sergeant Calhoun's underwear?" He shook his head decisively. "Thanks, but no thanks."

Vanellope was about to reply with a sarcastic crack about underwear when the men's shouts grew louder. Felix had one gloved hand covering his eyes, too embarrassed to even look at the garter in his other hand. Then, without looking, he flung it in the general direction of the crowd.

Unfortunately, he threw it just a little too hard. It sailed completely over the crowd. And it was headed straight for the only man there who didn't want it.

When Ralph saw that the garter was heading right at him, it was too late. He froze as it landed lightly on his head, catching in his messy brown hair and dangling limply over one eye. He blinked a few times, wide-eyed and stunned, as the full impact of what had just happened sank in.

The sound of Vanellope bursting into shrill, rowdy laughter snapped Ralph out of his trance. Unfortunately for him, her laughing gave everyone else who was watching permission to laugh, too.

"Sh-Shut up!" Ralph spluttered, face reddening with embarrassment. "It's not funny!" He plucked the garter off his head with his fingertips, jumped from his chair and waved it at the groom to get his attention. "Felix! Do over! Give this thing to someone who actually wants it!"

Felix was turning even redder and trying desperately to look at anything but the garter his best man was flailing around. "I-I'm sorry, Ralph," he stammered, his voice barely audible above the noisy laughter. "…B-but it d-doesn't work like that…"

"You caught the garter fair and square, Wreck-It," Calhoun chimed in, calmly rising from her chair and smoothing down her dress over her legs. "So now you gotta dance with the lady who caught the bouquet. Those are the rules."

"I gotta do what?!" Ralph exclaimed, utterly horrified.

Things were rapidly going from bad to worse. First he was stuck with this stupid frilly thing, and now he had to dance with a weird lady he hardly knew in front of everybody. On top of that, Vanellope was laughing so hard that she was about to fall out of her chair. Could things possibly get any more embarrassing?

Right on cue, the female Bad Guy with the blue hair and gloating laugh drifted up to Ralph, still holding the bouquet of white lilies. She wasn't exactly unattractive, but she was definitely creepy to look at. Besides having blue hair and skin, her ears were long and pointed, and her eyes were a disturbing shade of blood red. She was shorter than Ralph, maybe a little smaller than Calhoun's size, but her hovering easily put her at his eye level. That was pretty unsettling for a guy who was used to looking down on everyone else.

"Dance," the woman said, in answer to Ralph's previous rhetorical question. "You do know how to dance, don't you, Mr. Wreck-It?"

Ralph tripped over his tongue, feeling more uncomfortable than ever. He did not want to dance with this weird, creepy lady, but he also didn't want to offend a fellow Bad Guy. And for the life of him, he still couldn't remember what the heck her name was.

"Er, I, uh…" he stuttered, raising his big hands defensively. "W-Well, I've danced before, but n-not like with a partner or anything…"

"That's no problem," the woman said coolly. "I've done it before, so I can teach you."

She then turned to Vanellope. The girl had finally caught her breath from all the laughing and was watching the exchange with both hands over her mouth to stifle even more laughter.

"Pardon me, President Von Schweetz," the woman said, curtsying respectfully to the child who outranked her in social status. "Would you mind if I borrowed Mr. Wreck-It for a while?"

Before Ralph could raise any objections, Vanellope grinned hugely and nodded. After so many years of being shunned and rejected, she enjoyed it when people treated her with such courtesy. "I wouldn't mind at all, my good lady," she replied with exaggerated politeness. "Borrow him for as long as you like. I'll even hold your flowers for you!"

The woman smiled back at her pleasantly and handed her the bouquet. "Thank you, Miss President." She then turned her attention back to Ralph. He was slouching in an effort to make himself less conspicuous and failing miserably. "Come along, Mr. Wreck-It," the woman said. "The music's starting."

"Uh, wait a minute, I don't—Whoa!" He was cut off when she caught him by the hand and pulled. Stumbling and staggering to keep up with her, he looked back over his shoulder helplessly to see Vanellope's head partially obscured by the large bouquet in her lap. She was still wearing that annoying grin as she waved him off.

"Have fun playing with the other kids, sweetie pie!" she called after him in a sing-song voice. "I'll be here to kiss your boo-boos when you get back!"

Ralph just glowered at her in reply. He'd have to think of some way to get even with her later.

Once the blue-haired woman had dragged him out in the middle of the dance floor, she turned around to face him and took hold of both his hands. "Now, the first thing you need to know is how to hold your partner," she explained. "Take my right hand in your left and straighten your arm."

Not knowing what else to do, Ralph obeyed. "Okay…"

"Next, your right hand goes down here." She gently tugged said hand to wrap around her tiny waist and laid her arm over his.

He swallowed a dry lump in his throat. His face was heating up yet again. "Um… You sure you wanna do this? I'm not the most graceful monkey in the barrel…"

"Well, lucky for you, feet stomping won't be an issue." She pointed downward, showing that she was still levitating above the floor. There was no danger of him tripping over her while she was in midair. "Now, relax and follow my lead."

She began to sway in time to the music, which for Ralph was painfully slow. He clumsily followed along, trying not to think about how many people were watching and how ridiculous he must look. He was sweaty and tense with nerves, not daring to look up from his bare feet. Never in all his thirty years of life had he danced with a woman like this.

Fortunately for him, this woman was observant enough to notice how uncomfortable he was and decided to break the ice with casual small talk. "Thank you for inviting all of us here, Mr. Wreck-It," she began. "No one in Bad Anon has ever been to a wedding until now."

He cleared his throat, still not daring to look her in the eye. His mouth felt as dry as the Sahara Desert. "Oh, uh… don't mention it. Nobody likes to be left out when there's a big event going on… That happens a lot to us Bad Guys."

The woman knew he had a specific event in mind. When Ralph came back to Bad Anon after his game-jumping adventures, he started the story off by explaining how his co-workers excluded him from their game's 30-year-anniversary party. Most Bad Guys could relate to that kind of rejection, having been through similar experiences themselves. None of them had ever gone as far as 'going Turbo,' of course, but still.

"You'll have a lot to share at the next meeting," the woman went on conversationally. "Still, I'm glad I could finally get a chance to talk to you away from the group."

Hearing this surprised him enough to tear his eyes away from the floor and look back at her with some surprise. "You are?"

She nodded, smiling in a friendly way. "Yes. I've been meaning to congratulate you."

He gaped at her in confusion. "Congratulate me? For what?"

The comical, wide-eyed look on his face made her chuckle. It sounded completely different from her gloating laugh earlier, more warm and natural.

"For saving the arcade from Turbo and the Cybugs," she began. "And for being kind enough to adopt Q*bert and the others into your game. And getting friendly enough with your Good Guy to be the best man at his wedding. You've got a lot to be proud of, Mr. Wreck-It."

That finally got him to smile a little, though he blushed from her compliments and looked away bashfully. This was a lot to take in for a man who was still getting used to people treating him like a person and actually wanting him around. "Yeah…" he said at last. "I guess I do."

His stomach twisted a little with guilt. He'd pegged this woman all wrong. When she gloated over catching the bouquet earlier it was easy to assume she was an arrogant show-off, and the way she'd approached him and dragged him out to the dance floor was pretty pushy. Plus, her exaggerated cackling earlier was kind of obnoxious. But now she was like a different person. There was no hint of teasing in her voice, only genuine, unfeigned respect. Even her creepy red eyes were warmer and easier to look at. Maybe there was more to her than what she seemed. Maybe they could be friends after all.

And maybe this was the perfect time to find out what her name was.

Ralph cleared his throat again, noting that his mouth didn't feel quite as dry as before. His movements were less stiff and awkward, too. "So, uh… This is gonna sound pretty dumb, but… I'm drawing a blank on what your name is."

To his relief, she looked amused instead of annoyed by this, arching a pencil-thin eyebrow and smirking. "How long have you been coming to Bad Anon now?" she teased good-naturedly. "Alright, I'll give you a hint. It's written on my portrait in Tapper's."

Ralph tilted his head to one side and gazed upward, thinking hard. He knew what she was talking about, and could clearly picture the familiar wall covered in signed caricature portraits. There weren't too many female faces, so that narrowed the options down a lot. Only one of the cartoonish, black-and-white drawings resembled this woman. It had pointed elfin ears and was making the same facial expression she was wearing now. And the name it was signed with was…

"Sorceress?"

The woman smiled and nodded. "Bingo. Is there anything else you remember about me?"

Ralph smiled back. Now that he had a name to go with her face, it was easier to recall other details about who she was. "Hmm, let me think. You're the Bad Guy from Blood & Thunder, that fantasy-horror game that was plugged in back in 1987." His smile became a smirk. "And, about halfway through your first week, you threw a famous temper tantrum in Game Central Station. Took the Surge Protector weeks to clean up all that green slime, and even more to get the smell out."

Sorceress' red eyes widened, surprised that he could remember all that. Then she groaned at the last memory he described. "Ugh… That's one thing I wish would stay forgotten."

Ralph chuckled. "I thought it was pretty cool, actually. When I lose my temper, all I do is wreck stuff. That's not nearly as impressive as summoning dark forces and oozing ectoplasm on the floor. Besides, anybody who gives ol' Surge a hard time is okay in my book."

It was her turn now to blush and look away. Whether it was due to the embarrassing memory or his compliments he couldn't tell. "Thank you, but I have no desire to repeat that experience. Being grounded in my game for three months was no fun at all."

Ralph felt another little twinge of guilt upon hearing this. He hadn't meant to make her feel bad or think about something she'd rather forget. "Well, I guess that means we have to keep you happy, right? So you don't have to go through that again, I mean."

That got her smiling again. "And how do you plan on doing that, Mr. Wreck-It?"

He shrugged his big shoulders. "I dunno. But you look pretty happy right now."

Suddenly the slow dance song was replaced with something more up tempo. Ralph stopped and looked around in confusion as more sprites came out on the dance floor. Had he really been dancing alone with this woman for that long?

"Oh… I guess we're done," he commented, not knowing what else to say.

Sorceress was also looking around with an equally bewildered expression on her face. "I guess we are…" she said at last.

"Yeah…" he sighed.

It was strange. When he first came out here he hadn't expected to enjoy himself. Now he found himself wishing it could last a little longer. Somewhat reluctantly, he released his hold on her.

"Well, uh, thanks for the dance, Miss Sorceress," he said, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. "It was actually pretty fun, I gotta say."

Sorceress nodded in agreement, fidgeting with one of the gold skull cuff-links on her wrists. "Yes, it was…" An awkward pause followed. Then she peered up at him from behind her long, thick blue bangs. "Maybe we could do this again sometime…"

Ralph almost couldn't believe what he was hearing. She really wanted to spend time with him? As in, she actually liked spending time with him? Seriously?

He was still standing there gawping at her when Vanellope came skipping up to him. Or rather, she waddled up to him. Skipping was impossible while she was clutching the too-big bouquet in both arms and her heavy dress crinkling and rustling with every step.

"Pardon me, my good lady," she said, poking her head out from behind the flowers and smiling brightly. "Sorry to interrupt your playtime, but I'm here to pick up my little Ralphie-poo!"

Ralph clapped a hand over his face, grinding his teeth and silently fuming. The kid just loved making him look stupid, didn't she?

Sorceress stared down at the child in stunned silence for a moment. "Oh, uh… yes, Miss President," she said, regaining some of her composure and remembering her manners.

Vanellope practically shoved the bouquet at her. "Here ya go, toots. This is yours. So if you wouldn't mind taking it back before my arms fall off, I'd really appreciate it."

"Yes, of course," Sorceress said, taking the flowers back and still rather mystified by the girl. "Er, thank you for looking after them for me."

"No problem, honey," Vanellope replied, waving a hand dismissively. "It was my pleasure, really. Thanks for keepin' an eye on the big lug for me!"

"Yeah, thanks," Ralph finally managed to say.

He shot a quick, dirty look at the young president, who just went on smiling angelically as if nothing in the world was wrong at all. Then he turned his attention back to Sorceress, folding his arms behind his back and shuffling his feet awkwardly.

"By the way, uh… yeah, we should do this again some time."

Sorceress' eyes seemed to light up at this. "Really? Oh, good! That would be—"

A noisy splash and some shouts of dismay from another part of the reception hall cut her off. The other Bad Guys were gathered around the buffet table. One of Zombie's hatchet-carrying arms had suddenly broken off and fallen into the punch bowl. Zangief was clumsily trying to help him reattach it while the Beholder and M. Bison watched.

"Hey, Sorceress!" M. Bison called in her direction. "A little help, please? We could use your magic right about now!"

Sorceress let out a longsuffering sigh. A woman's work was never done. "I'd better go," she said to Ralph. "So, um… I'll see you later, Mr. Wreck-It. And you, too, President Von Schweetz." She performed another polite, hovering curtsy. Then she turned and floated off to join her friends by the punch bowl.

Ralph stood there watching her until he felt a sharp little elbow jabbing at his left knee. It was Vanellope, of course, trying to get his attention. "Ow! What?!"

She smirked up at him impishly, lacing her fingers together and batting her eyes. "Weeeell? How'd it go, stud muffin? Didja have a good time waltzing with Lady Lovely Locks?"

Ralph snorted and rolled his eyes. "As a matter of fact, I did have a good time," he grumbled, folding his arms irritably. "And furthermore, her name isn't Lady Lovely Locks. It's Sorceress."

"Oh-ho-ho, reeeally?" Vanellope teased, wiggling her eyebrows. "You like her enough to remember her name now? And you wanna hang out with her again, too?" She wiped an invisible tear from her eye and sniffled. "My little chump's growing up so fast!"

"Quit it, ya little guttersnipe," Ralph grumbled. He was still mad at her for making him look stupid in front of Sorceress. "Did you come out here just to make fun of me?"

"Actually, I came to tell you that the newlyweds are gonna cut the cake soon, so there's still some time for you and me to dance. Unless, of course, you wore yourself out shuffling around in circles with your new friend."

"Psssh, are you kidding? I could dance circles around you!"

The rest of the reception went on without incident. After some more dancing, there was cake, followed by even more dancing. Ralph spent most of that time with Vanellope, Felix and Calhoun. He did see Sorceress a few times in passing, but one or both of them kept getting distracted by other people and they didn't dance again that night.

But that was okay. Ralph would see her and the other Bad Guys at the next Bad Anon meeting later that week, when he would give them all an update on his progress. Maybe then he could talk to her, and some of the other guys, too.

He just hoped he wouldn't forget her name again. That would be pretty embarrassing.

* * *

Author's Note: I've shipped Ralph and Sorceress almost since I first saw the movie, but I needed more time to come up with a good story for them. It began with me trying to figure who Sorceress was, actually, when I decided to start an RP blog as her. I know how popular the theory is that the blue lady in Bad Anon is Mishaela from "Shining Force", but I've done the research and found no substantial proof for this rumor. The caricature in Tapper's is real, though, and it is in fact signed 'Sorceress', so that is in fact her official name.

Leaving that aside, I have so many ideas for this couple! There's not a big overarching plot here, though. This is meant to be a series of short stories following the progression of Ralph and Sorceress' relationship, starting here at Felix and Calhoun's wedding (Sorceress really was there, look at the crowd shot in the epilogue). Oh, and leave me a review, if you don't mind. I like to know what people think of my work. Thanks for reading, and stay tuned!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: In Which Ralph Spends an Unexpected Evening with Sorceress

_Bzzzt! Bzzzt! Bzzzt!_

"Random security check, sir."

Ralph rolled his eyes to the vaulted ceiling of Game Central Station. "Aw, come on, Surge! Do we really have to do this _again?_"

The Surge Protector glanced up from his clipboard, not the least bit frightened by Ralph's intimidating stature. "If you didn't keep smuggling contraband out of Sugar Rush, we wouldn't have to do this at all."

"Well, you've got nothin' to worry about. Vanellope didn't send me off with any snacks this time. See?" He held up both of his huge hands to show that they were empty.

After a few seconds of inspection, the Surge Protector was back to scribbling on his clipboard. "Mm-hmm. Empty your pockets, please."

Ralph clenched his fists, growing more frustrated by the second. "They're _already_ empty!"

"Do I have to pat you down, sir?"

Ralph groaned in frustration and reached for the pockets at his sides, turning them inside out to show just how empty they were. He did the same with his back pockets. "There. _Now_ do you believe me?"

The Surge Protector scribbled something down on his clipboard, seemingly oblivious to the look of intense hatred Ralph had leveled at him. "Proceed," he said tonelessly.

Grumbling under his breath, Ralph stalked away from the outlet of _Sugar Rush_, tucking his pockets back the way they were before. He slowed down to peek over his shoulder, watching as the Surge Protector vanished in a streak of crackling blue electricity. As soon as he was out of sight, Ralph reached under the tattered bib of his overalls and carefully fished out a vanilla cupcake with two of his fingers. The white frosting was a little squished and some of the pink and blue sprinkles were falling off, but otherwise it was still intact.

Ralph smiled a triumphant little smirk. "Heh. Sucker."

"Looks more like a cupcake to me," said a voice off to his right.

With a surprised yelp, Ralph whirled around and hid the cupcake behind his back. His eyes darted nervously around until they landed on a familiar blue-haired woman in a slinky red dress seated on a nearby bench. Judging from the smug look on her face, she had seen everything.

"Good evening, Mr. Wreck-It," Sorceress said pleasantly. She gestured toward the hidden cupcake and winked. "Relax, I won't tattle on you."

Ralph blinked a few times in surprise. Then he let out a relieved sigh. After dealing with one of his least favorite people in the arcade, it was nice to see a friendly face. He hadn't spoken much to Sorceress since Felix and Calhoun's wedding, though. Their dance at the reception had been their first real conversation outside of Bad Anon, and it surprised him how fondly he remembered it. After that, though, they both got busy with their own lives again. Ralph spent most of his free time with Vanellope, and quite often with Felix and Calhoun, too. Sorceress, meanwhile, had her own circle of friends and her own game to take care of. The only times their paths ever crossed were at the weekly Bad Anon meetings and occasionally in Tapper's. Other than that, they never saw each other. So it was a bit surprising for Ralph to see Sorceress here now.

"Don't scare me like that," he said, taking a few steps toward her bench. "For a second there I almost thought you were Surge."

Sorceress arched a questioning eyebrow. "You're not honestly suggesting I _look_ like him, are you?"

"What? No, of course not!" he said quickly. "Seriously, the only resemblance is the blue skin. Other than that, you've got nothin' in common with the guy."

"Well, that's good news," she said with a smile. She gestured toward a bench next to hers. "By the way, you're welcome to sit down."

"Thanks, don't mind if I do," Ralph chuckled, seating himself on the empty bench. The metal creaked and groaned under his immense weight.

Sorceress turned in her seat to face him and folded her hands neatly in her lap. "So, what were you and the Surge Protector arguing about this time, if I may ask?"

Ralph shrugged his big shoulders as he carefully peeled the wrapper off his cupcake. "Eh, you know how that guy is with his not-so-random security checks. I was just minding my own business, heading home after watching Vanellope in tonight's Random Roster Race."

Her eyes drifted to the cupcake in his hand. "You're sure it has nothing to do with your repeated attempts to sneak food back to your game?"

"Hey, it's not _my_ fault the kid never lets me leave empty-handed."

It was rare for Vanellope to send Ralph home at all. Having been trapped in her game for most of her life, she was eager to take every chance she could to go see the rest of the arcade and play with her best friend. Being the ruler of Sugar Rush was a big responsibility for such a little girl, however, and there were times when she just couldn't afford to leave Sour Bill to manage things for her. She always felt bad sending Ralph home early on nights like this, so she tried to make up for it by loading him up with as many sweets as he could carry. He didn't mind this at all, but the Surge Protector certainly did.

Ralph crumpled up the cupcake's wrapper and stuffed it into one of his pockets. He paused to lick some icing from his finger. "So, uh, how come you're sittin' out here all by yourself? You waitin' for somebody?"

Sorceress' smile wavered and then collapsed. With a sigh, she turned her gaze down to the green circuit board panel that covered the floor. Her long blue bangs hung down like a curtain to hide half of her face. "Well… I was _supposed_ to meet a blind date here at ten o'clock."

Ralph frowned in confusion. "What do you mean, you were _supposed_ to?"

"I mean my date was a no-show." She raised one hand with the palm facing up. A brass pocket watch appeared in a flash of sparkly purple mist. She flipped the lid open with her thumb to check the time. "And now it's eleven o'clock."

His eyes widened at this revelation. "Are you serious? You've really been sittin' out here alone, waitin' for this guy to meet you, for a whole _hour_?"

Sorceress snapped the watch shut. It vanished in another sparkly purple flash. "Yes," she said. Her tone was almost emotionless, but there was a definite tinge of disappointment there.

Ralph thought back to the most recent Bad Anon meeting. Sorceress had been talking excitedly about having a date, her first in over a month. Zangief had been the one who set it up for her, as he always did. Of course since it was a blind date she didn't know who he'd set her up with, but she didn't seem to care that much. As long as he was a single adult humanoid, she was happy just to _have_ a date. But after getting dumped like this, it looked like she'd be spending another Saturday night alone, feeling miserable and unwanted.

"Here," Ralph said at last, holding his unwrapped, uneaten cupcake out to her.

Sorceress stared blankly at the cupcake for a moment. Then she stared blankly up at Ralph. "Huh?"

"Take it," he said simply. "You need it more than I do."

She hesitated a moment longer before taking the cupcake. Her hands weren't nearly as big as Ralph's were, so she needed to hold it with two. "Thank you," she said, smiling at him gratefully.

He smiled back at her and waved one hand dismissively. "Nah, don't mention it. Don't feel bad about the date, either. Whoever that guy is, he's a moron for standing you up."

Sorceress turned her face away. "He's not the first moron to stand me up," she muttered, fidgeting with the cupcake in her hands. Then she heaved a tired sigh. "Ugh… I'm just so sick of all this nonsense."

Ralph arched one bushy eyebrow curiously. "You mean dating?"

"Exactly," Sorceress replied. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to find somebody who's willing to date a Bad Guy?"

He shrugged and shook his head. "I wouldn't know. I've never really tried dating before." He rested his elbows on his knees and let his hands dangle between his legs. "Being ignored and rejected, though… _That's_ the kind of stuff I know a lot about."

She sighed tiredly again. "It's not just being a Bad Guy that's the problem. I'm a _vampire_, Mr. Wreck-It. People tend to be scared of you when they think you're going to bite them and feast on their blood."

Ralph was only slightly surprised to hear this. Oh, yeah, Sorceress was a vampire. It was an easy thing to forget since her fangs were rarely visible and she never drank blood outside of her own game. And even then, she only did it because she had no choice in the matter. It was pretty ironic, actually, for a vampire to hate the taste of blood. Eating large amounts of your least favorite food every day just to survive couldn't be easy. Ralph wondered briefly what it would be like if his own survival depended on him always eating chocolate. Then again, nobody ever considered people who ate chocolate all the time to be monsters.

He was quiet for a moment as he searched for something helpful to say. "Well, it's a big arcade, right? There are plenty of guys out there. It might take a while, but you'll find your Mr. Right one day, maybe when you're not even looking for him."

Sorceress didn't answer this time. Instead, she took a small, dainty bite from her cupcake and chewed it quietly.

A moment of silence followed as Ralph tried to think of something else to say. Part of him wanted to find out who Sorceress' mystery date was and forcibly drag him out here. If the guy didn't want to date her, he should have just said from the beginning instead of backing out at the last second. It just wasn't fair to lead her on and let her down like this. Furthermore, Ralph couldn't understand _why_ anybody would turn down a date with a woman like Sorceress. Sure, she was a Bad Guy and a vampire, but so what? She was still a nice person and pretty attractive in an eerie kind of way. Yet here she was, lonely and sad on a Saturday night.

Ralph was no stranger to loneliness. He was still getting used to having friends after thirty years of solitude. He started out with just Vanellope, then Felix and Calhoun, and over time his circle of friends gradually expanded to include more and more people. Sorceress was one of those people. And right now, she needed a friend more than anything else.

He rubbed his chin thoughtfully, trying to think of something he could do to cheer her up. The cupcake and the talking seemed to help a little, but it wasn't enough. There had to be something else. Then it dawned on him. "You know what? Maybe _we_ could do something tonight."

Sorceress looked up at him in surprised confusion. "Mwuh?" she said, forgetting that her mouth was full of chewed cupcake. She swallowed before speaking again. "We? As in, just you and me?"

He smiled at her and shrugged his big shoulders. "Sure, why not? Neither of us has anything better to do, right?"

She wiped a smudge of frosting off her lips. "You don't have plans with any of your friends?"

He shook his head. "Nah, I was just gonna go home. Vanellope's busy doing president stuff tonight, and I can't hang out with Felix and Calhoun, either, 'cuz this is their date night." He made a face at this. "Trust me, you do _not_ wanna hang out with a couple of lovey-dovey newlyweds on date night. So, whadda ya say?"

Sorceress looked down at her cupcake, drumming her polished nails on one knee as she considered Ralph's invitation. It wasn't like she had anything else to do, since she'd cleared her schedule for the night. What was the harm? At least she wouldn't have to spend the evening alone, and there were worse people to hang out with than Wreck-It Ralph.

"Alright," she said at last. "What would you like to do?"

He rubbed his chin some more. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted the Surge Protector walking by in the distance. Scowling, Ralph curled the thick, blocky fingers of his right hand into a fist and smacked it into the palm of his left hand. "Well, after dealin' with Surge earlier, _I'd_ really love to punch him in his scrawny little face. But since I can't do that, I'd settle for punchin' something else and _pretending_ it's his face."

The moment he finished saying all this, he realized just how barbaric it sounded. Sorceress was a classy, cultured woman. After hearing him talk like that, she probably thought he was an uncouth, brutish lout. But then he heard the unmistakable sound of her chuckling, and he remembered that she was a woman who thought Zangief's stories about crushing skulls between his thighs were funny, and the sight of Cyborg ripping Zombie's heart out of his chest bored her. Compared to all of that, his fantasy about punching Surge in the face must have seemed pretty tame.

Currently, Sorceress was sitting calmly in her seat with a half-eaten vanilla cupcake in her lap and a pensive expression on her face. "Actually, that sounds pretty good right now," she said at last.

"What sounds good?" Ralph asked. "Punching Surge?"

Sorceress chuckled again. "Not quite. I mean venting my negative feelings with violence against inanimate objects. I especially like your idea of pretending to hit the person you're most angry with. In my case that would be my date, thought I don't know who he is. So I'll pretend I'm hitting Zangief instead, since this whole blind date thing was his idea."

Ralph pictured this slender, delicate woman punching the huge, brawny wrestler in the face and grinned. He'd pay good money to watch _that_ happen. "Okay, then! Let's go someplace where we can wreck stuff."

Sorceress took a moment to consider this. "Hmm… Speaking of Zangief, why don't we go to _Street Fighter_? There's lots of things we can wreck in the Bonus Stage."

He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Hmm, I dunno. The Bonus Stage is mostly outside in bright sunlight. Isn't that deadly for vampires?"

She shook her head. "Not for all vampires. In my case, it just reduces my powers to a lower level. So long as I don't waste too much energy, I'll be fine." She lifted the unfinished cupcake in her lap with both hands. "But first, I'd better finish eating this thing. Can't have the Surge Protector stopping us on the way, can we?"

Ralph chuckled. "Yeah, I'm still mad at him, and nobody likes it when I'm mad." Then he grinned mischievously at her. "You know what else I'd like to do to that guy?"

"What?" Sorceress asked, taking a small, dainty bite from the cupcake.

"Stuff his glasses down his throat, break his clipboard in half, and then shove it where the sun don't shine." He didn't mean any of it, really. He just wanted to see if Sorceress would laugh.

And she did. She tried to stifle it behind her hand, covering her mouth to keep her food from falling out. It didn't work, though, and she had to choke the mouthful of cupcake down to let the laughter out.

Ralph grinned even wider. Tonight was gonna be _fun_.

* * *

The first event of the Bonus Stage, and the most famous one, took place outdoors on a pier. The object of the game was to destroy a car in less than forty seconds. Any attack was allowed. Ralph stepped aside and gestured for Sorceress to go before him, flashing a lopsided grin at her. "Ladies first."

"You're too kind," Sorceress said, drifting past him and toward the car. She raised her arms in front of her and cupped her hands, forming a glowing orb of orange flames between her palms about the size of a grapefruit. Then she straightened her arms, shooting the flaming ball at the passenger side of the car. It burst on impact, leaving a large, smoky dent in the door.

Satisfied with her work, she turned back to Ralph with her hands on her hips. "How was that?"

Ralph arched his eyebrows. This was his first time seeing Sorceress use flashy attack spells like this, and he had to admit she was pretty good at it. "Not bad," he said, honestly impressed. "Were you picturing Zangief when you did that?"

She smiled and nodded. "Who else? Your turn, Mr. Wreck-It."

With a chuckle, Ralph moved around to the opposite side of the car. "Okay, now let a pro show you how it's done." He took a moment to picture the Surge Protector's face in place of the door on the driver's side. Then he brought his fist down hard against it. The powerful blow cracked the window and left a huge, knuckle-shaped impression in the metal.

"Poor Mr. Surge Protector," Sorceress remarked, shaking her head and clicking her tongue. Then she lifted both hands, forming matching fireballs in each one. "Now hurry! We've only got twenty-two seconds left on the clock!"

Ralph cracked and popped his knuckles noisily. "No problem! Let's wreck it!"

Using both fists, he quickly pounded the driver's side of the car into a crumpled mess of broken metal and smashed glass. Sorceress, meanwhile, flung multiple fireballs at the passenger side until it was full of scorched dents and cracked windows. By the time the seconds ran out, there was nothing left of the car but a pile of blazing, mangled metal and a smell of smoke in the air. The word '_Perfect!_' flashed on the screen, announcing their victory.

Ralph propped his hands on his hips as he surveyed their handiwork. "I'd say we did a pretty good job here." He looked past the smoking heap at his female companion levitating across from him. "Nice work with those fireballs."

Sorceress smirked and brushed a few stray pieces of long blue hair back into place. "Oh, this is nothing. You should see what kind of damage I can do in a nighttime setting. Shall we go on to the next event?"

He grinned broadly at her. Not only was he glad to see her smiling again, but he was starting to have fun, too. "Of course, milady," he said, bowing with a flourish. "Let us proceed to the second violent activity."

She chuckled at his performance, and once again he was struck by how different her laughter sounded when she wasn't in gloating Bad Guy mode. The evil laugh was appropriate for her line of work, but this warm, natural laugh suited her better.

The second stage took place indoors. Here there were two conveyor belts whirring overhead, both carrying wooden barrels to drop down from above, and the players had to break them using any attack. Instead of a timer, there was a counter for how many barrels were left to break, currently set to twenty. There were also counters on either side of the stage for two-player mode, both set to zero.

"We'll play against each other for this one," Ralph explained. "Whoever breaks the most barrels wins."

Sorceress didn't answer. She was watching the wooden barrels on the conveyor belt, considering what kind of spell was best to use on them. Blowing them up with fireballs would be too dangerous. Bits of burning wood would go flying everywhere, possibly injuring her or Ralph. Lightning, however, would disintegrate the wooden barrels instantly. That should be safe enough, just as long as she didn't zap Ralph by accident.

Then the barrels started dropping one after the other. Ralph had the advantage of height and easily broke the first barrel with one swift punch. The counter over his head went from zero to one. Not to be outdone, Sorceress hurled an orb of lightning at the next barrel. Sure enough, it disintegrated just as she expected, and her counter went up to one. The score was tied and there were still eighteen barrels to go.

Ralph and Sorceress locked eyes and grinned at each other. Oh, it was _on_ now.

As more barrels fell, the two Bad Guys fell into a rhythm. Every time Ralph punched a barrel, Sorceress would zap the next one. They went back and forth like that the whole time, punching and zapping. Punch, zap, punch, zap, punch, zap. By the time they ran out of barrels, their scores were tied.

"Ten for ten," Ralph said, reading their counters aloud. "Looks like it's a draw this time."

"This time?" Sorceress echoed, arching one eyebrow at him. "Does that mean you want a rematch?"

He smirked. "Maybe, if the next stage doesn't tire you out."

Sorceress rolled her eyes and flipped a long piece of blue hair over her shoulder.

The third stage was set outside a Russian warehouse, which just happened to be the exterior of Zangief's stage. During arcade hours there was a crowd of rowdy drunken spectators in the background, but since the arcade was closed there was no one there but Ralph and Sorceress. The objects to be destroyed were six oil drums stacked in a pyramid formation. They were full of burning oil, occasionally spurting short jets of fire to scorch the players as they tried to break down each drum one by one. Like the first stage, it had a forty-second timer.

"You can't use fireballs or lightning on these," Ralph warned. "They'd blow us sky-high."

"No problem," Sorceress said calmly. "Fire and lightning aren't the only spells I can use."

"Okay, if you're sure." He motioned for her to take the first turn. "Don't forget, we've only got forty seconds to wreck this stuff."

She nodded, waving a hand dismissively. "Yes, yes, I know. Now pay attention, I've got an idea."

So saying, she cupped her hands to form a new spell. An orb of bluish white light appeared, which she hurled at the stack of burning oil drums. Ralph ducked and raised his arms protectively over his head, expecting a fiery explosion to result. Instead, the orb of magic energy morphed into an icicle as big as a sword. It stabbed straight through one of the three oil drums forming the pyramid's base, weakening the whole thing.

Pleased with the success of her spell, Sorceress rested one hand on her hip and gestured at the stack of oil drums with the other. "Your turn, Mr. Wreck-It."

Once Ralph got over the relief that nothing had exploded, he rolled his eyes. "Okay, _now_ you're just showin' off."

She pouted at him and pointed up to the timer, showing that the seconds were quickly ticking away. "Save it for later, Mr. Wreck-It. We're wasting valuable time."

With another exaggerated roll of his eyes, Ralph started pounding away at the oil drums and Sorceress resumed stabbing them with her icicles. Just like the previous two stages, they quickly fell into a rhythm. Sometimes they had to back off when one of the drums spurted a jet of flame. When this happened, Sorceress would extinguish the fire with an icy wind spell, allowing Ralph to smash the drum without getting burnt. After the first twenty seconds, they had managed to break down half of the drums.

Now there were only three drums stacked precariously on top of each other. Still in his rhythm, Ralph pounded away at the bottom drum while Sorceress prepared to put out the flames with her magic. Suddenly, the orb of magic energy in her hands began to fade, its brightness flickering like a lightbulb about to burn out.

Ralph's punches halted abruptly as he stared at the blinking light. "Huh? What's happening?"

Sorceress frowned. "My magic's starting to run out," she replied. She tried to strengthen the spell, but it flickered even more wildly. "Come on," she muttered, concentrating hard. "I just need enough energy to finish this stage."

While she was focusing on her spell, Ralph heard the telltale hissing of flames overhead. He looked up and noticed the oil drum on top of the pyramid, squirting little jets of fire from the sides, teetering dangerously above Sorceress' head. The voice of Sonic the Hedgehog's public service announcements in Game Central Station blared through his head, warning about permanent death outside one's own game.

Before Ralph could warn Sorceress, the burning oil drum tipped over and fell.

_"Look out!"_ Instinctively, he lunged forward and caught the falling drum just before it could crush her. However, he grabbed it just hard enough that the metal cracked open, releasing a jet of fire all over his right hand. Crying out in agony, he dropped the burning drum on the ground and flailed his arm wildly, sending the two remaining drums crashing down as well. Then he slumped to the ground clutching his injured hand to his chest.

"Ralph!" Sorceress cried, kneeling on the ground in front of him. He was still hunched over, hiding his wound from view. "Are you alright?"

If he wasn't in so much pain, he might have noticed she had called him 'Ralph' for the first time instead of 'Mr. Wreck-It'. Instead, Ralph shrank back and pulled his hand away, trying to hide it from view. "Yeah…" he lied through clenched teeth. "Yeah, I'm fine…"

She frowned at him and folded her arms. "No, you're not. Now show me your hand."

"I _said_ I'm fine!" He scowled darkly at her, hoping she would back off and leave him alone.

She glared right back at him, eyes as cold, hard and sharp as the icicles she'd been flinging around earlier. The staring contest would have lasted longer, but the increasing pain in Ralph's burnt hand forced him to cringe and look away.

"Ralph…" Sorceress said, laying a dainty hand on his massive forearm. Her eyes softened and her tone was both gentle and earnest. "Please… Show me your hand."

He wanted to argue, to insist that he was fine and didn't need any help. But he just couldn't get any words out. Not with her looking at him like that. Also, the pain was too much. He couldn't hide it forever. With a sigh of defeat, he held his hand out for her to see.

Sorceress studied the damaged flesh of his huge palm for a moment. Not only was it red and swollen, it was grotesquely blotchy and blistered, too. Without a word, she produced a violet handkerchief out of thin air. Ralph watched curiously as she scooped a few chunks of broken ice off the ground and wrapped them up in the cloth. "Hold still," she instructed.

Before he could ask her why, she laid the bundle of ice over his burn. He yelped in surprise at the sudden cold wetness on his hot skin, and then relaxed as the pain became less intense.

"Does that feel better?" she asked.

He nodded. "Yeah… What kind of magic is this?"

"It's not magic," she explained. "It's a cold compress." Holding it in place with one hand, she produced a roll of cloth bandages with the other. "I can't use healing spells even when I'm at full strength, so I had to learn basic first aid to make up for it."

"Oh," Ralph muttered, not knowing what else to say.

Neither of them spoke as Sorceress wrapped bandages over Ralph's huge hand to hold the cold compress in place. While she focused on tending his wound, he focused on her. This was a side of her he hadn't seen before. He knew she was a nice person, but he never would have guessed she could be so gentle and nurturing, especially after watching her gleefully destroy a car, as well as several wooden barrels and steel oil drums. What else did he not know about her?

Sorceress spoke up, distracting him from his thoughts. "Idiot."

Ralph blinked a few times in confusion. "Huh?"

"You caught that oil drum before it could fall on me," she replied. She paused in wrapping bandages to look him straight in the eye, more severely than before. "You were trying to protect me, weren't you?"

Again he was speechless. Why was it so hard to talk to her when she looked at him like that? He had to avert his eyes to get his brain and his mouth working at the same speed. "I, uh…" he began, shifting his weight awkwardly. "Yeah… Yeah, I was… Sorry, I… I didn't really think it through…"

Fortunately for him, Sorceress looked away and went back to bandaging his hand. "Don't do it again," she went on. "You got away with only a second degree burn, but next time you may not be so lucky."

Ralph frowned at this. "Well, what was I _supposed_ to do? Stand there and watch you get crushed?"

"It was only an oil drum, Mr. Wreck-It," she said sternly. "I could have handled it."

"How? You didn't even have enough magic left to conjure up a snowball!"

"Don't patronize me. I'm a Bad Guy like you, remember? Not some helpless Damsel in Distress who needs to be rescued."

"I never said that you _were!_" he snapped in frustration.

Sorceress didn't even flinch at his outburst. She simply directed an intense crimson glare at him. No words were spoken, but the message was clear.

Ralph sucked in a breath and shut his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose with his good hand. He was losing his temper, and that never lead to anything good. There was no getting through to her unless he was calm about it.

"Look," he began, straining to keep his voice steady. "I didn't save you because I thought you were helpless. All I was thinking when I saw that thing about to fall on you was that you were in trouble, and if I didn't do something quick, you'd die."

He lifted his eyes to meet hers and fixed her with an intense, serious gaze. It wasn't a strain to keep his voice steady this time.

"I saved you because I _wanted_ to, Sorceress. And if I had to, I'd do it all over again."

This time it was Sorceress who was at a loss for words. People never said things like this to her, not even her fellow Bad Guys whom she'd been friends with for years. She and Ralph were still practically strangers. Their first real conversation was less than a month ago, and tonight was the first time they'd done anything together. Yet he was willing to risk his life for her, and he already had an injury to prove it.

She was so confused that she had to force herself to break eye contact with him, trying to concentrate on finishing up with the bandages. If there wasn't a thick curtain of blue hair hiding half her face from view, Ralph might have noticed that her pale blue cheeks were slightly pinker.

* * *

The train ride back to Game Central Station was a quiet one, save for the occasional crackle of electricity from the copper wires lining the tunnel. On the way into _Street Fighter_, the two Bad Guys had been chatting and joking around comfortably. That was before anything unpleasant had happened.

Although Ralph was seated right next to Sorceress in the same car, he felt as if there was an invisible wall between them. Once she had finished wrapping up his hand earlier, they agreed that he should go home and have Felix heal the burn with his magic hammer. She hadn't spoken since then and showed little to no sign of emotion. She just sat there stiffly with her legs crossed and her hands folded in her lap, gazing off into the distance at something he couldn't see. So he drew the only conclusion he could; she was mad at him for ruining her evening, and now she was giving him the silent treatment.

Ralph sighed, staring down at his thoroughly bandaged right hand. The cloth strips were getting soggy from the melting ice of the improvised cold compress and his fingers were slowly going numb, but it didn't hurt. He still hadn't thanked her for taking care of his burn. Then again, she had never thanked him for saving her, either. Where had he gone wrong? Was it a mistake? Had he offended her? Maybe he shouldn't have invited her to _Street Fighter_ in the first place. Then maybe none of this would have happened, and they would still be friends. As it was, it didn't seem very likely that she'd speak to him ever again.

Soon the train pulled into the terminal and the P.A. voice announced their arrival in the station. Ralph slowly stood up, ignoring the numb, tingling sensation in his right hand. He offered his good hand to help Sorceress off the train, not really expecting her to take it.

To his surprise, she did.

Sorceress didn't levitate when she got off the train. She just stood in front of him on the platform, keeping her eyes from meeting his and holding his hand as if she wasn't ready to let go just yet. Looking down at her like this showed Ralph how small she actually was. Even wearing stiletto heels, the top of her head didn't even reach his chin.

After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Sorceress gestured to Ralph's right hand hanging down at his side. "The cold compress…" she said at last. "It's been on your skin for too long. I have to remove it, or you might get frostbite."

He nodded wordlessly and let her guide him to one of the benches inside the terminal. Once they were seated, she went quiet again as she began to remove the soggy strips of cloth. He watched her for a while, trying to make out what emotion she could be hiding behind her expressionless mask.

Finally, he couldn't take the silence anymore and said the first thing he could think to say. "I'm sorry."

Sorceress kept her head down. Her movements became slower and eventually stopped. With a sigh, she shook her head. "No, _I'm_ the one who should be sorry."

"You didn't do anything wrong," he started to say.

"Yes, I did," she said meekly. "You've done so much for me all night, and instead of thanking you I treated you horribly." She raised her head to look up at him. The expressionless mask was gone, and her face was full of worry. "That's why I'm sorry, Mr. Wreck-It. Just please… Please be more careful next time, alright?"

Ralph was taken aback by this. It all made sense now, and yet it made no sense at all. What seemed like anger before was actually fear. Fear for his safety. Why? Why was she so worried about him? How could she care about him that much when she hardly knew him?

And how could _he_ care that much about _her_?

Ralph blinked himself out of his trance and averted his eyes. This was getting uncomfortable in a whole new way. He cleared his throat, trying to think of an answer to her question. "Uh… Y-Yeah, sure," he muttered, studying the graffiti scrawled across the greenish-blue tiles on the opposite wall. "And, uh… Thanks for patching me up."

Sorceress removed another strip of cloth from his hand. "You're welcome," she mumbled in reply. Finally, she took off the last wet bandage and peeled the waterlogged handkerchief from his skin. "There. How does it feel now?"

He flexed his fingers experimentally, restoring some of the feeling to them. The burn mark was still just as glaringly huge, ugly and red, but it was less swollen and tender than before. "Well, the pain level's gone down from searing agony to dull aching, so that's definitely an improvement."

She twisted her handkerchief up and squeezed out as much cold water over his hot skin as she could. "Good, glad to hear it. Make sure your friend Mr. Fix-It takes care of it with his magic hammer as soon as possible."

Ralph rolled his eyes and groaned. Showing the burn to Felix meant explaining how it happened. That was a conversation he wasn't looking forward to at all. "You're sure you can't use _any_ healing spells? Like, not even a little baby-aspirin-type spell?"

"Really, Mr. Wreck-It," she said, wringing out what little water was left in her handkerchief. "If I could use that kind of magic, do you really think I'd be wasting my time doing all this?" She waved a hand over the soggy piece of cloth. It vanished in a puff of sparkly mist. "Well, I've done all I can. Let's get you back to your game."

"What about all this stuff?" Ralph asked, gesturing to the pile of sodden bandages on the floor. "Aren't you gonna poof them away, too?"

Sorceress rose to her feet and hovered several inches above the ground. "They're just trash. Let the Surge Protector deal with those drippy things."

He chuckled and stood up. "I like the way you think."

They left the terminal side by side and moved out into the station. _Fix-It Felix, Jr._ was in the same row of plugs as _Street Fighter_, about six outlets down to the right. Sorceress' game, _Blood & Thunder_, was on the other side of the station on the left, directly between _Hero's Duty _and_ Sonic the Hedgehog. _Ralph stopped walking just outside the outlet and turned to face Sorceress. He was reluctant to say goodbye to her, especially now that things were starting to go well again. But it was getting late, and his hand wasn't healing any faster.

Sorceress appeared to feel about the same way as she turned to face him, floating just below his eye level and fidgeting with her cuffs. Then she smiled timidly up at him from behind her long bangs. "By the way, I really did have fun with you tonight."

"I had fun, too," he said, smiling back somewhat awkwardly. "Actually, I wouldn't mind doin' this again some time. Except, y'know, for the part where I horribly burn myself and make you mad."

"No, that part wasn't much fun." Then her smile turned into her familiar, playful smirk. "As long as you don't go pulling any more reckless stunts, I won't get mad at you. I'd rather not get in the habit of playing nurse, either."

He chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck with his good hand. It was probably inappropriate to admit that he kind of enjoyed being taken care of, so he chose a different topic. He glanced over to his left and saw that the outlet for _Tapper_ was directly beside _Street Fighter_. "What if we went to Tapper's? Last time I checked, nobody ever died over there."

"I'd like that." She tilted her head thoughtfully. "Tomorrow is Sunday. That's Karaoke Night."

He shrugged his big shoulders. "Sure, why not? I'm not much of a singer, but I'm game if you are."

"Oh, I most definitely am." Still smiling, she brushed some hair away from her face. "That just leaves one more question. When and where should we meet?"

"Eleven's the best time for me. I gotta watch Vanellope's next Random Roster Race. If I miss that, she'll never let me hear the end of it."

"Then I'll meet you by the tunnel to Sugar Rush." Sorceress nodded her head in approval. "Alright, then, it's a date. We'll meet for Karaoke Night at Tapper's at eleven o'clock tomorrow night. Don't forget, and make sure your hand is fixed by then."

"Yes, ma'am," he said obediently. He hooked his thumbs in his pockets, shifting his weight from one bare foot to the other. "Well, uh, I guess I'd better go home and take care of that. So, see ya later, Miss Sorceress."

She gathered the long train of her dress and performed a graceful floating curtsy. "Good night, Mr. Wreck-It," she said courteously. Her smile was as warm and sincere as ever when she straightened up. "I look forward to seeing you again."

Ralph could only nod in reply. His right hand still felt cold from the ice, but the rest of him felt suddenly warmer. She giggled behind her hand, and for a split second he was sure he saw her blush. Then she turned and floated toward her game, waving goodbye as she went.

He waved back to her and stood watching her retreating form for a while. Still feeling warmer than usual, he started making his way down the row of outlets toward his own game. He was between _Undead Apocalypse 3_ and _Virtua Cop_ when he realized he was grinning like an idiot.

Then, about halfway between _Frogger_ and _Burger Time_, he froze as something Sorceress said before dawned on him. His eyes widened hugely and his mouth fell open in shock.

"Wait a minute… It's a_ date?!_"

* * *

Author's Note: First of all, I want to thank everybody reading this for, well, reading this! As I'm writing this note, this fanfic now has 11 reviews, 37 follows and 20 favorites! Thanks, everyone, I appreciate the support from all of you! I'd also like to thank my beta reader, gothicorca1895. Go read her stuff if you haven't already! Second of all, this chapter required a fair amount of research, mainly about the bonus levels in _Street Fighter 2_, how to treat second degree burns, and the actual layout of Game Central Station. Thanks to the Street Fighter Wiki and YouTube, WikiHow, and Disney respectively.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: In Which Ralph Drinks Root Beer and Sings Karaoke

Sorceress checked her brass pocket watch for the fifth time that evening. It was exactly ten o'clock at night. Two hours ago the arcade had closed for the day. Now Game Central Station was bustling with sprites of all shapes and sizes from just about every game. She paid no attention to the many people and things coming and going. Her eyes were on the outlet to _Sugar Rush,_ watching anyone and everyone going in or out.

Ralph had promised to meet her here at the benches at ten o'clock. It was now nine fifty-five. As the minutes ticked by, Sorceress continued to sit on her cold metal bench, watching the people passing and listening distractedly to Sonic the Hedgehog's recorded public service announcements. After about three minutes had passed, she began to wonder if Ralph was still coming.

He wouldn't stand her up, would he? He was the one that had asked her out in the first place. But what if he changed his mind? What if she'd come on too strong when she used the word '_date_' last night? Or what if he decided to spend the evening with Vanellope instead? She was anxiously chewing her polished red fingernails when the harsh electric buzzing of an alarm jolted her out of her thoughts.

_Bzzzt! Bzzzt! Bzzzt!_

"Random security check, sir."

"Argh! Not _now_, Surge!"

Sorceress had never been so happy to hear men bickering as she was right at this moment. Ralph was here! The Surge Protector had stopped him as he was coming out of the outlet of _Sugar Rush_ and they were now going through their routine argument over smuggled food. This time it was peppermints the size of hockey pucks, but Sorceress didn't care. Ralph was _here!_ He wasn't going to stand her up after all! Sorceress snapped her pocket watch shut and tucked it in the folds of her long skirt, where it vanished without a trace. Then she rose from her bench and floated toward the two men, holding back her excitement but unable to hide the bright smile on her face.

Ralph, by contrast, looked more harried than usual. As if going out on the first date of his life wasn't stressing him out enough, now this skinny little runt was getting in the way. And he'd tried so hard to get here on time, too. If only Vanellope hadn't insisted on giving him all these stupid giant peppermints. As he tried to argue with the Surge Protector, his tone was both exasperated and desperate, and steadily rising in volume. "I don't have _time_ to go through another security check!" he insisted. "I'm supposed to meet somebody _now_!"

The Surge Protector remained as impassive as ever, eyes glued to the clipboard in his hands. "You really should've thought of that before you decided to steal food again," he replied in his usual dull monotone.

Ralph bared his teeth and growled as his famous temper began to flare up. He clenched his empty hand into a fist, debating whether pounding the smaller man through the floor was worth the inevitable consequences.

That was when Sorceress descended behind the Surge Protector, high-heeled boots clicking lightly on the polished floor when she touched down. She did her usual small curtsy in greeting "Good evening, Mr. Wreck-It," she said, poised and polite as always.

At the sight of her, Ralph stood up straight, smoothed back his scruffy mess of hair with one hand and popped the oversized peppermint into his mouth. "Hey, Shorshereshh," he said, trying his best to look cool and casual in spite of the candy impairing his speech.

Sorceress stifled a chuckle at this. Then she turned her attention to the Surge Protector, who had been discreetly ogling her until she made eye contact with him. "Pardon me, Mr. Protector," she began, her smile becoming less genuine but still very dignified. "Is there a problem here?"

The Surge Protector had some trouble answering as he gazed up at the eerily lovely woman looming over him in an outfit that left little to the imagination. He cleared his throat and resumed his professional demeanor as best he could. "Not to worry, ma'am," he said, adjusting the knot of his tie. "I've got the situation under control, so you can go about your business."

Sorceress allowed herself a quick, smug little smirk. It was no secret that the Surge Protector had a weakness for pretty women; a weakness she planned to use to her and Ralph's advantage. "And I'm sure you're doing a fine job as always," she said, still very poised and polite. "However, with all due respect, this _is_ my business. It just so happens, sir, that this man you're harassing is my _date_ for tonight."

The Surge Protector's eyes widened hugely behind his glasses and his brows rose to meet his nonexistent hairline. He looked from the eerily lovely Sorceress to the oafishly grubby Ralph, whose face had reddened noticeably when she said the word '_date'_. Then the guard looked back at Sorceress, seemingly oblivious to the wrecker's embarrassment. "You're kidding, right?" he asked in disbelief.

Ralph glared at him behind his back, enormous hands clenching at his sides into mighty fists. Seeing that his temper was wearing thin, Sorceress walked casually past the Surge Protector to stand next to Ralph. She placed a gentle hand on his huge arm, intending to both calm him down and prove that she wasn't kidding. It worked on both counts.

"It's the truth," Sorceress said simply, as if it was there was nothing strange about it. "Mr. Wreck-It and I have a date tonight. So if you would please be kind enough to let him off the hook, Mr. Protector, we would both greatly appreciate it."

The Surge Protector stared blankly at the mismatched pair in utter bafflement for a moment. In the end, his inability to say no to attractive women won out. He cleared his throat and straightened up. "All right, sir," he said to Ralph, back in serious security guard mode. "I'll let you off with a warning this time, but don't let it happen again."

Still sucking on his rapidly dissolving peppermint, Ralph frowned and gave the smaller man a resentful grunt. He didn't stop glowering at the guard until he dismissed himself and vanished in a burst of electric sparks. Once he was gone, Ralph turned to the elfin woman by his side and felt his mood improve almost instantly. "I _really_ gotta hang out with you more often," he said, smiling at her gratefully.

Sorceress smiled back with not small amount of pride. "Don't mention it, Mr. Wreck-It," she said, pleased about resolving the dispute diplomatically. Folding her hands neatly behind her back, she floated up from the floor until she was hovering at his eye level. "Shall we go now?"

He swallowed what was left of his peppermint and nodded. "I thought you'd never ask."

The two Bad Guys moved through the crowded station side by side, Ralph padding barefoot across the polished floor and Sorceress floating a foot and a half above it. The other sprites around them made sure to stay out of their way, though a few of them stopped to stare and whisper behind their backs. Neither Ralph nor Sorceress paid them much attention, however, since they were having their own conversation.

"I have to admit," Sorceress was saying as she fidgeted with one of her cuffs. "I was a bit worried you wouldn't show up."

Ralph's expression turned sympathetic. He remembered how disappointed she was when he found her alone the night before, when her blind date was a no-show. "Well, that's one thing I promise you'll _never_ have to worry about."

She smiled back at him gratefully. "Thank you, I see that now." She gestured toward his right hand. "And I see your burn from yesterday is gone, too."

He raised his hand and displayed his fully healed palm for both of them to see. "Yeah, Felix took care of it. Not before freaking out at the sight of it, though."

She chuckled behind her hand. "Did you have any trouble explaining things to him?"

He shook his head. "Nah, I just told him the truth. I had an accident in _Street Fighter_, and that was that."

This wasn't the whole truth, really. When he'd explained things to Felix, he'd left Sorceress out of the story completely and said nothing to him about his plans to go out with her the next day. The last thing he wanted was for his co-workers to get ideas about his nonexistent love life. Lucky for him, Felix was just gullible enough to accept practically anything he said at face value.

Sorceress wasn't that naive, however. She arched a skeptical eyebrow, sensing that Ralph wasn't telling her everything. If it was about something more important she would have questioned him further, but it wasn't, so she chose not to comment on it and changed the subject. "How is President Von Schweetz? You just came from seeing her race tonight, yes?"

"Yup, and she won another spot in tomorrow's roster," Ralph said. He couldn't help smiling as his chest swelled with pride for his best friend. "You know, she wouldn't let me leave until I explained why I couldn't stick around after the race."

Sorceress looked at him worriedly. "Oh, dear, I hope I didn't take you away from something important. She wasn't upset, was she?"

"She was until I told her what I was doing tonight." Ralph rolled his eyes at the memory. He could keep secrets from Felix, but not Vanellope. The kid knew him better than anyone and was pretty sharp for her age. "She got so excited that she started _literally_ bouncing off the walls and glitching all over the place." He fished out another large peppermint from one of his pockets. "Then she loaded me up with these things and sent me on my way."

Sorceress chuckled lightly and smiled with relief. "I see. I'm glad she was so supportive." She tilted her head and eyed the huge piece of candy curiously. "By the way, what are those things for?"

Ralph shrugged, still trying to play it cool. "Eh, she just doesn't like me to leave on an empty stomach."

This wasn't the whole truth, either. Ralph was terrified of ruining his first date ever with his usual smelly halitosis breath. That was the real reason Vanellope had sent him off with so many peppermints, to help his breath smell fresher and make a good impression with Sorceress. It probably wasn't such a big deal since she'd been around him enough to know what he smelled like and had yet to complain about it, but he wasn't about to take any chances on a night like this. And there was no way he could tell her how nervous he was, not without sounding completely pathetic.

As Ralph stashed the peppermint down the front of his overalls, his fingers brushed against something else. He stopped walking suddenly. "Oh! Hang on, I almost forgot!"

After a bit of digging around, he produced a few limp, 8bit daisies. They had perfectly rectangular specks of dirt on their perfectly rectangular leaves and petals, and their sagging heads were hanging down lifelessly from their floppy broken stems. Ralph had actually picked these flowers back in his own game as soon as the arcade closed for the day. He often saw the Nicelanders give flowers to each other, and Felix was constantly giving flowers to Calhoun when they were courting, so naturally Ralph concluded that this was a standard dating practice. Though in hindsight, stashing them in his overalls probably wasn't such a smart idea.

He held the bedraggled daisies between two meaty fingers and offered them to Sorceress, grinning somewhat sheepishly. "Uh… Here, these are for you."

Sorceress just stared at the plain, droopy little plants in stunned silence. Ralph stood there holding the flowers, waiting for a response from her. When she didn't, he shifted his weight uncomfortably. "Sorry," he muttered, looking down at the floor. "They're probably not as fancy as what you're used to, and they're kinda dirty and smelly…"

"No, no, they're fine!" she interrupted.

Ralph's head snapped up, bushy eyebrows rising in astonishment. "Really?"

Sorceress nodded vigorously, long hair fluttering around her face from the motion. "I like them, I really do!" Taking a breath to regain some composure, she took the daisies from him. She smiled brightly, tenderly stroking their droopy square petals with one finger, red eyes full of warmth and pale blue cheeks just the faintest shade pinker. "They're perfect… Oh, thank you, Mr. Wreck-It."

There was nothing Ralph could do except stand there blinking at her in bewilderment. She just looked so _happy_ holding those shabby, wilting flowers. Somehow it reminded him of how Vanellope had reacted to the sloppy candy go-kart he'd helped her make all those months ago, though with a lot less cheering and skipping. Actually, the two situations had another, more crucial difference. When Ralph helped Vanellope build the kart, he didn't go into it with the goal of making her happy. It just happened, and it surprised him how good it felt to make another person that happy for the first time in his life. When he gave Sorceress the flowers, though, he'd been trying to make her happy on purpose, hoping she would like them and worrying that she wouldn't. He really _wanted_ to please her. And, wonder of wonders, it had actually _worked_.

Slowly, the corners of his mouth turned up and stretched into a wide, lopsided grin. Then he heard giggling behind him. Two little kids with halos, a boy and girl, were spying on the two Bad Guys from behind a nearby bench. That was when Ralph remembered that they were standing out in the open in a public place full of people who could see them. Trying to save face, he narrowed his eyes at the two angel kids and let out a low, warning growl. With some shrill yelps of fear, they scurried away hand in hand.

Turning back to Sorceress, Ralph cleared his throat and hooked a thumb in one pocket, still trying to act nonchalant as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Uh, you're welcome. I'm glad that… that you like the flowers…"

Sorceress was too busy admiring said flowers to notice anyone who might have been watching them. When was the last time anybody had given her flowers? A year? Two years? It was so long ago that she couldn't remember it. Nor could she remember the last time she felt this happy about something as simple as receiving flowers. She looked up at Ralph, still beaming and almost glowing with joy. Just as she opened her mouth to speak, the P.A. voice intoned from the speakers overhead.

_"Tapper, now boarding. Tapper, now boarding."_

Her eyes widened in surprise. The train for Tapper's was boarding, and if they missed it they'd be stuck here for thirty minutes waiting for the next one. And she'd had more than enough of sitting around waiting in Game Central Station. "Come on, we have to hurry!" She reached out to grab Ralph's hand by one thick forefinger and pulled. Without waiting for a reply she started dragging him along with her toward the outlet.

Stumbling to keep up, Ralph felt an odd sense of déjà vu. Wasn't this how their first interaction had started, back at the wedding reception when Sorceress dragged him out on the dance floor? He'd been painfully nervous about that, too, but after talking to her and discovering how interesting and pleasant she really was, he actually enjoyed their time together. Now he was going on the first date of his life with her. And if it followed the same pattern as their two previous interactions, everything would turn out just fine.

Ralph felt his goofy grin returning as his worries faded away. He really should hang out with Sorceress more often.

Meanwhile, as he was making his rounds, the Surge Protector spotted the couple rushing to the outlet of Tapper hand in hand. He paused to shake his head and muttered under his breath. "Those two won't last a week."

* * *

On the first Sunday of every month, Tapper would dust off the old karaoke machine he kept in the broom closet, set it up at the front of his bar, and proclaim it Karaoke Night. There was always a good crowd on these nights, but Ralph was never part of it until now. In the past, it was the one time he made a point of staying as far away from this game as possible. Too much noise, too many people, and nobody for him to talk to. His general attitude had improved dramatically in the past few months, however, and thus he was less resistant to stepping out of his comfort zone from time to time. Sorceress wasn't bad company, either.

Upon arriving, the two of them made themselves comfortable at the back of the bar where they drank their Root Beers and made sarcastic running commentary about the singers' talents or lack thereof. At the moment, it was Pac-Man singing at the front of the bar. Or trying to, anyway. He was mangling the song so badly, screeching too loud and completely off-key, that it was impossible to name what song it was anymore. By the time he finished, the people who applauded were only doing it because they were glad the terrible performance was over.

Sorceress had placed the daisies Ralph had given her in one of three mugs he'd already emptied as a temporary vase. Quietly sipping a bit of Root Beer from her own mug, she dabbed her lips dry with a napkin and gently straightened one of the crooked daises. "So," she began, turning to the huge man beside her. "What did you think of _that _horrendous racket?"

Ralph took a hearty gulp from his fourth extra-large mug of Root Beer. "Not bad," he said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "If you like the sound of cats in boiling water, that is."

She chuckled dryly, stirring her drink absently with her straw. "You should hear Bowser or Dr. Eggman some time. They're not much better." She paused to take another sip. "What about you, Mr. Wreck-It? Do you sing?"

He and shook his head. "Nah, not really. I think I told you before that I'm not much of a singer."

She shrugged her pale blue shoulders. "Most people here aren't, but that's not stopping them."

"Maybe somebody _should_ stop them," he replied, glancing at the bar stool where Pac-Man was now guzzling mug after mug of Root Beer.

She arched an eyebrow and pointed to the front of the bar where the karaoke system was set up. "Are you going to tell _him_ that?"

An odd little creature resembling an orange beach ball with eyes, legs and a distinctive snout had taken the stage. The song playing was _Don't Stop Believin'_ by Journey, but the creature's singing was not in English. His voice was a garbled jumble of unintelligible electronic gibberish represented by signs in the word balloons that appeared every time he tried to communicate.

Ralph's eyes widened. "Q*bert? No way! How long has _he_ been doing this?"

"He and his friends have been here a lot since they got adopted into your game," Sorceress replied, smiling knowingly. "They didn't have much to sing about until then."

"Wow," Ralph said, still amazed that Q*bert was there at all. He was so used to living and working with him in his game that it was strange to think that the poor little guy was stranded in Game Central Station for so long. "You know, he's not half bad," Ralph commented. "I mean, he's not half _good_, either, but at least he's not really loud and off-key."

Sorceress nodded in agreement. "He should give Pac-Man a few tips about that."

The rest of the audience also seemed enjoy Q*bert's performance, as some of them were making sounds expressing approval. After listening to him sing for a while, Ralph got bored and decided to talk to Sorceress again. Listening to her dry wit was a lot more pleasant than trying to understand Q*bert-ese.

He took another noisy gulp of Root Beer before starting a new conversation. "So, uh, I take it you've come to Karaoke Night a few times before, huh?"

Sorceress smirked and tossed some hair over her shoulder in a rather haughty way. "Well, I don't mean to brag," she said imperiously. "But I'm something of a karaoke legend."

Ralph arched an eyebrow at this. "How is that not bragging?" he teased lightly.

"Because it's true," she replied matter-of-factly. "What? You don't believe me?"

"I dunno," he said, scratching his cheek with one huge finger. "That's a pretty bold claim to make when you haven't done any singing yet."

"Oh, so it's proof you want." She drummed her polished nails on the counter for a moment. "Alright then, let's make a deal. I'll go up there and sing after Q*bert is finished, and you'll sing after me. Then we'll see who the real superstar is."

He folded his arms on the counter, still holding his giant mug in one giant hand. "You sure that's a good idea? Q*bert's gonna be a tough act to follow."

Sorceress took the straw from her drink and pointed one drippy end at him. "Don't change the subject, Mr. Wreck-It. Do we have a deal?"

Ralph drummed his big fingers on the countertop thoughtfully. He was hesitant to sing in front of an audience, and it looked like Sorceress wasn't going to take 'no' for an answer. Still, he was genuinely interested in seeing if she could back up her claims of karaoke stardom. And if guys like Pac-Man and Q*bert could get up there and sing without a problem, why couldn't he?

"Okay," Ralph said at last. "It's a deal."

Pleased with his answer, Sorceress put the straw back in her mug and picked up the song list lying on the counter. "You can choose a song from here," she said, offering it to him.

"Aren't you gonna look at this?" he asked, accepting the list from her.

She shook her head. "I don't need to. I already have something in mind." With that, she went back to quietly sipping her Root Beer through her straw.

Soon Q*bert's song was over. He took a bow, a few people clapped politely, and the stage was free again. Seeing her chance, Sorceress uncrossed her legs and got up from her stool. "Showtime," she said, smoothing out her dress. "Wish me luck, Mr. Wreck-It."

Ralph smiled at her and flashed a thumbs-up sign. "Knock 'em dead, superstar!"

She winked back at him. "I always do."

As Sorceress made her way to the front of the bar, the other patrons recognized her and started clapping again, more eagerly than before. Anyone who had ever been to Karaoke Night in the past knew that Sorceress was one of the regulars, and when she sang it was a highlight of the evening. She smiled and acknowledged the bar crowd with a wave of her hand. This was why she loved coming here every month. It was one of the rare times when people besides her Bad Guy friends were actually happy to see her.

Sorceress tapped the code for her song selection into the machine and picked up the microphone. Words appeared on the monitor, introducing the song as _Come Sail Away_ by Styx. The tinkling of piano keys wafted from the speakers. Then the lyrics came up on-screen and she began to sing, her eyes wistful and her tone nostalgic.

"I'm sailing away…/Set an open course for the virgin sea/'Cause I've got to be free/Free to face the life that's ahead of me… /On board I'm the captain, so climb aboard/We'll search for tomorrow on every shore/And I'll try, Oh Lord, I'll try… to carry on…"

Watching and listening from the back of the bar, Ralph's eyes bulged and his jaw dropped. If the eager applause of the other patrons hadn't tipped him off earlier, Sorceress' actual performance made it clear that she wasn't kidding about being a karaoke legend. She sounded nothing like the male lead singer of Styx, of course, but she was a very, _very_ good singer indeed. Occasionally she would look up to read the lyrics on the screen, but for the most part she was singing the words from memory. And it wasn't just her singing that was good. She was acting, too. The emotion in her voice, her facial expressions and body language, they were all as convincing as if she had rehearsed this scene multiple times the night before. And she _had_, but she was never going to tell him that.

Sorceress was just as invested in this date going well as Ralph was, if not more. It wasn't her first date, not by a long shot. The list of blind dates she'd been on over the years was longer than both her arms together. But this _was_ her first time going on a date with someone she really liked and wanted to be with, a date the two of them had set up themselves without the help of any meddling third parties. That was why she suggested going to Karaoke Night with Ralph. It was something she knew she was good at and could make a positive impression with. So she sang on, pouring all her energy and emotion into the music.

"I look to the sea/Reflections in the waves spark my memory/Some happy, some sad/I think of childhood friends and dreams we had…/We lived happily forever, so the story goes/But somehow we missed out on the pot of gold/But we'll try best that we can… to carry on…"

Ralph, meanwhile, was so entranced by Sorceress' performance that he didn't notice when Tapper quietly took away the empty mugs on the counter and brought two clean ones brimming with fresh Root Beer. The bartender wisely left the mug holding the 8bit daisies untouched.

Then the drums and guitars kicked in, picking up the tempo. Sorceress changed her demeanor to match the energy of the music, and her movements became more lively. "A gathering of angels appeared above my head/They sang to me this song of hope and this is what they said/They said come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with meee, lads!"

A few cheers and claps went up. Sorceress grinned almost wide enough for her fangs to show and waved her free arm up and down, urging the crowd to sing the rest of the chorus with her. To Ralph's surprise, they actually did, and he was grateful she was singing into a microphone or he would have been unable to hear her over the noisy ragtag choir.

"Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me! Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me, baby! Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with _meee!_"

Before he knew what was happening, Ralph got caught up in the lively atmosphere just enough to stop gawking and start smiling again. This latter part of the song was more fun and less emotional, and Sorceress just looked so happy up there with all these people cheering and clapping for her. She was clearly having fun showing off for the audience, and they were eating it up. And so was he, surprisingly enough.

Soon the song was over. As Sorceress let her voice fade out with the music, the cheering and applause grew louder and more enthusiastic. No one was cheering and applauding as loudly as Ralph, however. He was the only person in the bar giving her a standing ovation. She could hear his thunderous clapping over everyone else's noise, even if she could barely see his goofy grin at the back of the room. Taking a bow, she let her long wavy hair fall down to obscure her blushing face and silly laugh. The cheers of the crowd were pleasant as always, but knowing Ralph enjoyed her show was far more satisfying.

"Thank you," Sorceress said into the microphone, standing upright and smoothing her hair neatly back into place. "Thank you, you're all very kind." She took another short bow and the applause started to die down. Then she put the microphone back in its place and left the stage to return to her date.

Ralph was sitting on his stool when she arrived, still grinning hugely and holding up two frothy mugs of Root Beer; a giant one for himself and a normal-sized one for her. "Now _that_ was some great singing!" he praised, handing her the smaller mug. "I gotta say, Sorceress, you've really earned the title of karaoke legend. You're the best singer here, hands down. There's no way anyone else is gonna be able to top that!"

Sorceress blushed lightly at his compliments and took her mug in both hands. "You flatter me, Mr. Wreck-It," she said, seating herself on the stool next to his.

"It's not flattery if it's true," he replied, grin settling into a genuine smile. "Seriously, if I knew there was somebody as talented as you singing like that around here, I would've come out to hear you every month."

"Then you'll have to come back next time," she said, smiling modestly. She paused to make sure the daises in the empty mug were still in one piece. "By the way," she added. "It's your turn now."

Ralph's smile faded. "My turn to do what?"

She arched a pencil thin eyebrow at him. "To sing, of course. You promised to sing after I did. Don't tell me you forgot the deal we made five minutes ago?"

Ralph's face fell. He'd been so spellbound by Sorceress' amazing performance that he'd totally forgotten about their deal. And he still hadn't picked out a song to sing, either. "Oh, uh, right…" he muttered, scratching his cheek with one huge finger. "Um, see, about that…"

Sorceress frowned. "You're not trying to weasel out of it, are you?"

"No, no, of course not!" Ralph said quickly. "It's just that, uh, who wants to listen to a newbie like me sing right after a karaoke legend just blew everybody's minds?" He put on a very cheesy, phony grin and hoped she'd buy it.

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. She wasn't buying it. "Don't make excuses, Mr. Wreck-It. We had a deal. I kept my end of the bargain, now you have to keep yours."

"And you did a fantastic job!" he said, raising his big hands defensively. "It's just, you know, it's getting pretty late, and we've both gotta go to work in the morning, so maybe we should call it a night and—"

"You're nervous," she said bluntly.

He flinched visibly. She'd hit the nail right on the head, but if he admitted it he would lose the argument. So he sat up straighter and frowned defiantly. "I'm _not_ nervous."

Sorceress still wasn't buying it. She folded her arms and gave him a very steely, crimson stare. He could hide pieces of the truth from her, but she absolutely refused to put up with anything that was clearly a lie.

Ralph hunched over his mug and squirmed in his seat, trying to avoid her gaze, but he could still feel her eyes burning two holes through him. Argh, she was giving him _that_ look, just like when she was mad at him in _Street Fighter_ yesterday. He was too stubborn to admit that she was right, though, and she was too smart to fall for any of his lame excuses. So he said nothing at all, hoping she'd get the hint and drop the subject.

Then she placed one little hand over his. When he looked at her again her eyes had softened considerably. He felt his resolve waver just the tiniest bit.

"There's no shame in feeling nervous, Mr. Wreck-It," she said softly. "I don't know what all these other people here might think about it, but I for one would _love_ to hear you sing."

Oh, jeez. Now she was giving him the _other_ look. It was hard enough to resist her when she was being all cold and serious, but it was nigh impossible when she was being all sweet and gentle like this. And the worst part was that she wasn't faking it. She really, truly wanted to hear him sing. How could he say no to her now?

Ralph groaned in frustration. Then he looked her straight in the eye, raised one thick finger, and tried his best to sound tough. "_One_ song. I'll do _one_ song, and that's it."

Sorceress lit up and clasped her hands excitedly. "Yes, of course! That's all you have to do!"

He rolled his eyes and rubbed his temples between his fingers, grumbling under his breath and trying to hide his embarrassed blushing from her. At least she wasn't giving him that look anymore. Any longer under that sweet, gentle gaze and he might have melted.

Rising from his stool, Ralph trudged toward the front of the bar, muttering to himself about how he couldn't believe he was doing this and wondering how he became such a pushover. The closer he got to his destination, the quieter the other patrons became. By the time he was standing at the microphone, the bar was completely silent and all eyes were on him. No one had ever seen Wreck-It Ralph in Tapper's on Karaoke Night before, and so no one knew what to expect.

Ralph's mouth went dry and he began to sweat. It was only when he saw Sorceress smiling at him from the back of the room that he felt something close to courage. _Do it for her,_ he told himself._ She's the only one here that matters._

He turned to the karaoke machine to punch in the code for his song selection. Then he remembered he didn't have a song to select. What now? Push the buttons randomly and pray whatever song came out was something he knew? Argh, whatever. Just do it and get this over with.

After pushing the buttons at random, Ralph took the puny microphone between his big fingers and turned to look at the TV monitor. Words appeared on the screen; _Don't You Want Me_ by The Human League. Then the synthesized music began to play and Ralph allowed himself to relax a little. This was a song the Nicelanders often played at their parties ever since the 80s. He'd heard it so many times over the years that he could recite the entire thing in his sleep. There was no way he could top Sorceress' outstanding performance and he wasn't going to try. All he had to do was get through this without looking like a complete idiot.

The lyrics came up on-screen. Ralph took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, raised the microphone to his lips and began to sing. "You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar/When I met you/I picked you out, I shook you up/And turned you around/Turned you into someone new."

Much to the surprise of everyone else listening, Ralph's singing wasn't horrible. His voice was shaky and tense with nerves but it still sounded pretty good, better than anyone would have expected from a big, tough guy like him.

At the back of the bar, Sorceress was attentively watching him. He was doing well so far and she liked his singing voice, but he was still too nervous. She began to clap in time to the beat, hoping it would help boost his confidence. A few people in the audience heard her. Little by little, they started to clap along, too. Seated in the front row with a few of his formerly homeless co-stars, Q*bert bounced happily and made some encouraging beeps and buzzes.

Sure enough, Sorceress' plan worked. Hearing that the crowd didn't hate his singing, Ralph gained a bit more confidence. Maybe he could do this after all. He paused briefly to swallow, trying to moisten his dry throat. "Don't. Don't you want me?/You know I can't believe it when I hear that you won't see me/Don't. Don't you want me?/You know I don't believe it when you say that you don't need me."

He stood a bit straighter and sang the next few lines in a somewhat steadier voice. "It's much too late to find/When you think you've changed your mind/You'd better change it back or we will both be sorry!"

Feeling braver, Ralph tore his eyes away from the screen and faced the crowd as he sang the chorus. "Don't you want me, baby?/Don't you want me? Ohhhh!/Don't you want me, baby?/Don't you want me? Ohhhh!"

The rhythmic clapping of the audience continued as the next verse came on-screen. Just as Ralph opened his mouth to sing, he remembered that this part was meant to be sung by a woman. He froze like a deer caught in the headlights of a speeding freight truck. His mind raced. Now what? Was he supposed to sing this part himself? In a high-pitched, girly voice?!

Before he could start worrying about how in the heck he was going to pull that off, he heard a familiar female voice come to his rescue. "I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar/That much is true/But even then I knew I'd find a much better place/Either with or without you."

Sorceress was standing near the karaoke machine, holding her own microphone and looking far more comfortable in the spotlight. Seeing their superstar making an encore performance, the audience got more excited and gave plenty of appreciative shouts and applause. She waved to them graciously, but her attention was mainly on Ralph. Without stopping for breath, she went on singing her lines. "The five years we have had have been such good at times/I still love you/But now I think it's time I live my life on my own/I guess it's just what I must do."

Ralph flashed a quick, thankful grin at her. Sorceress gave him a wink and gestured toward the screen. It was his turn to sing the next verse. This time his doubts and worries were all but gone. He didn't feel nervous anymore, not with the best singer in the house beside him. "Don't. Don't you want me?/You know I can't believe it when I hear that you won't see me/Don't. Don't you want me?/You know I don't believe it when you say that you don't need me."

The crowd was cheering even louder than before, and they weren't just cheering for Sorceress, either. This was in response to Ralph as much as it was for her. Then, out of the corner of his eye, Ralph noticed that Sorceress had lowered her microphone and was edging away from center stage. It seemed that she was planning to leave because the female singing part was over. But he wasn't going to let her get away so easily. Remembering how she had used acting to enhance her performance earlier, he decided to try some theatrics of his own.

He caught her tiny hand in his, dropped down on one knee, and proceeded to belt out the chorus for her. "Don't you want me, baby?/Don't you want me? Ohhhh!"

Some hearty laughter went up from the audience. Sorceress was both puzzled and startled by his bold behavior. With a playful smirk, Ralph winked up at her and nodded at the microphone that was in her other hand. He wanted her to keep singing with him. Flustered and still recovering from her bewilderment, she decided to comply. This time it was _her_ voice that was shaky with nerves. "D-Don't you want me, baby?/Don't you want me? Ohhhh…"

Ralph chuckled and stood up, still holding her hand in his. Sorceress couldn't hide her embarrassed blushing with him grinning at her like that. It didn't help that the audience was whooping and whistling at them, either. Trying to keep up some dignity, she held her head high and turned to face the audience. Ralph did the same, feeling rather smug about making her blush. They repeated the chorus in unison. Each time the audience grew louder and some people actually sang along with them. "Don't you want me, baby?/Don't you want me? Ohhhh! Don't you want me, baby?/Don't you want me? Ohhhh!/Don't you want me, baby?/Don't you want me? Ohhhh!"

At last the music faded out and the song ended. The crowd exploded into deafening applause with more whooping and whistling than ever. Q*bert and his friends were bouncing up and down like mad in the front row, making all the excited noises they could make with appropriately excited symbols in their word balloons.

Grinning from ear to ear, Ralph and Sorceress bowed for their adoring public. They were still holding each other's hands.

* * *

It was one o'clock in the morning when the two Bad Guys finally left Tapper's. After their double act, they hadn't stayed long. Everybody loved their performance so much that every time they tried to drink their Root Beer their new fans were pestering them. Both of them were still feeling pretty euphoric on the train back to the station. When they got there the place was practically empty.

Despite the late hour, Ralph didn't feel very tired. He couldn't seem to stop smiling, either. As he walked from the terminal with his thumbs in his pockets, he turned to the woman floating weightlessly by his side. He wanted to prolong his time with Sorceress as much as possible, so he was walking her home to _Blood and Thunder_. "So," he said casually. "What's the final verdict for the karaoke superstar contest?"

Sorceress was also in high spirits. She still had the precious 8bit daisies he'd given her at the beginning of the date, only now they were tucked in her hair. They didn't look nearly so wilted anymore. "I'd say it ended in a tie. You were quite good for a first timer." Her expression turned thoughtful. "You know… I really think this might be the best date I've been on in years."

Ralph scratched the back of his head with one hand. This was the _first_ date he'd _ever_ been on so he didn't have anything to compare it with. Still, it was easily one of the best nights of his life. He never thought it would go as well as it had, nor had he thought he'd her say something like this. "You really think so?"

"I do," she replied, nodding. "And you know what else?"

He arched a curious eyebrow. "What?"

She reached to pluck a daisy that was tickling one of her long, pointed ears. "This is the first time a man's given me flowers in years, too."

Ralph didn't know how to reply to this, so he chuckled somewhat awkwardly. Sorceress just smiled at him in a mysterious kind of way.

All too soon they were standing at the outlet leading to her game. For the first time that night, Ralph felt his heart sink a little. He was having such a good time with Sorceress that he wasn't ready to say goodnight yet. "Do you really have to go home so soon?"

Sorceress hovered in front of him at his eye level. She sighed regretfully, gazing down at the little daisy in her hand. It was clear from the way her head was drooping that she didn't want to leave yet, either. "I'm afraid I do. I have so many responsibilities to my game, and my pet spiders miss me if I'm out too late."

He looked down at his bare feet, not quite succeeding at hiding his disappointment. Now that he thought of it, he couldn't stay out too late, either. The only person he'd told about his plans for the evening was Vanellope, and only because she demanded it. He'd said nothing to his co-workers, and Felix was sure to worry about him if he was gone too long. Q*bert and his pals were the only people from his game who knew where he was, and he'd bumped into them by accident. He couldn't have them getting home before him and blabbing that he'd gone out with a woman. A woman he liked more and more every time he was with her.

Sorceress was also deep in thought as she stared down at the daisy in her hand. There was so much more she wanted to tell Ralph, so many thoughts and feelings that she didn't know how to put into words. What it all boiled down to was that, after just one official date, she knew she liked him more than anyone else she'd dated before. And she'd dated a lot of men in her day.

Clearing his throat, Ralph straightened up and tried to play it cool. "Well, uh… I guess this is goodnight, then."

After a moment's hesitation, Sorceress looked up from her flower. "Not quite."

Before he could ask what she meant, she reached out and brushed her fingers against his cheek. She had that sweet, gentle look in her eyes again, the look that made him feel like he was melting. Face heating up, he tried to speak, but he couldn't seem to form any coherent words. All that came out of his mouth was a lot of stammering.

She floated there quietly for a moment, smiling at him tenderly. Then, without saying anything, she leaned forward, closed her eyes and kissed him softly on the cheek. When she pulled away her own cheeks were a shade or two pinker. Smiling dreamily, she caressed his face one last time. "_Now_ it's goodnight," she said gently.

He stood there blinking at her for a few seconds, totally thunderstruck. It was only a quick, light, harmless little peck on the side of his face. If he had a mirror, he would have seen the bright red lipstick mark she left. Even so, he felt as if she'd just zapped him with one of her lightning bolt spells.

Then his face broke into a huge, dopey grin. He still couldn't get any proper words out. All he could manage to say in his stupefied state was a dazed "Uh huh…"

She pulled her hand away to cover her mouth and giggled girlishly behind it. He just looked so incredibly happy with that silly look on his face. Feeling better about parting ways with him, she performed her most polite floating curtsy. "See you later, Ralph."

He nodded slowly as his brain started working enough to let him form real words. "See ya… Sorceress…"

With another girlish giggle, Sorceress turned and floated inside the tunnel and disappeared into the shadows. Once she was out of sight, she twirled around a few times and floated high enough to touch the ceiling.

Ralph stood there outside the outlet with the same dopey grin until he couldn't see her anymore. Then he sighed dreamily. The only thought in his head, besides how wonderful he felt after she kissed him, was that she'd called him 'Ralph' and not 'Mr. Wreck-It'.

Meanwhile, the Surge Protector was standing only a few outlets away and had seen everything. He was so shocked by the sight of Sorceress kissing Ralph that he was standing frozen with a look or absolute horror on his face. His clipboard slipped from his grasp and clattered loudly to the floor.

Ralph was completely oblivious to his presence. Even the noise of the clipboard echoing off the empty station walls couldn't break him from his trance. After another minute of standing there lost in dreamy bliss, he slowly turned around and started making his way across the station. Feeling strangely weightless, he began humming to himself. His huge, dopey grin was still firmly in place.

The Surge Protector continued to stare in open-mouthed, wide-eyed shock at the huge, spaced out wrecker lumbering dreamily past him, still wearing the bright red mark of Sorceress' lipstick on his cheek as glaring proof of what had just happened. Groaning in disgust, the Surge Protector took off his glasses and rubbed his forehead. "_Please_ don't let this last for more than a week..."

* * *

Author's Note: First of all I want to thank everyone on Tumblr who gave me suggestions for songs and character cameos. I couldn't fit all of them in here since I like to keep my chapters from stretching too long, but I appreciate all the ideas you guys sent me! Ralph's song in particular was an inspired choice because it's a John C. Reilly reference! He sings _Don't You Want Me_ in the movie "Cyrus." Google it if you want to hear the real Wreck-It Ralph singing. Thanks to notoriouslysketchy for suggesting it!

Second, I want to thank everybody who sends me reviews! I save them all in a special folder to read when I doubt myself (luckily, that only happens every single day).

Third, I should probably put a disclaimer in here since I forgot to do it before. I don't own anything in this story, not even Sorceress. Everything belongs to their respective owners and creators. All that's mine here is my expansion of Sorceress' personality, her powers, her back story, the game she comes from and any other characters from it, and anything else about her that wasn't revealed in the movie. Which is a lot.

Coming up in Chapter 4; Vanellope, Felix and Calhoun will be making return appearances, and we'll get our first glimpse of what the world is like in Sorceress' game, _Blood and Thunder_. Stay tuned!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: In Which Ralph Does a Lot of Explaining

It was a quiet, peaceful night in _Fix-It Felix, Jr_. As the Niceland Express pulled up to the platform, Ralph was still on cloud nine. It hardly even bothered him that the rickety little train car was too tight for him, as it always was. He was still thinking about Sorceress and how happy she was about the crummy little bouquet of 8bit daisies he gave her, and their impromptu karaoke duet at Tapper's, and the way she looked at him just before she kissed him goodnight. Sweet Mother Hubbard, he got tingly just thinking about it. Nothing could ruin his mood after that.

He pushed himself free of the tiny train car and made his way from the platform to East Niceland where his shack stood just outside the dump_. _As he walked he looked around at the lamps lining the street and the lights in the trees and the stars in the sky. Strange, they all looked so much brighter and prettier than usual. Sorceress might like them. Maybe he should invite her over to visit some time. It was always night here in Niceland, so she wouldn't have to worry about any sunlight messing with her magic. He could show her more of those daisies she seemed to like so much, and she'd smile that dazzling smile of hers again. Yeah, that was what they could do the next time they got together. He could show her around his game, and maybe later they could go to hers. He'd never been to _Blood and Thunder_ before. The name sounded scary, but it couldn't be all bad if somebody as nice as Sorceress lived there.

As he neared his shack, Ralph started whistling the tune of '_Don't You Want Me'_. It wasn't exactly the best theme song for his budding relationship with Sorceress, since it was technically about a couple breaking up. Still, the memory of singing that song with her tonight was a good one. He would do it all over again if he could.

Finally Ralph reached the doorstep of his shack. The instant he opened the door, a small black and green blur slammed hard into his stomach headfirst. Stunned, winded, and thrown off-balance, he staggered backward and landed flat on his back with a heavy, resounding _thump_. The next thing he saw was a familiar little girl with hazel eyes and various bits of candy stuck in her black hair kneeling on his huge, heaving stomach with a cheeky grin on her face.

_"Surprise!"_ Vanellope cheered, flinging her arms up and tossing confetti in the air. Then she began bouncing up and down excitedly on Ralph's stomach. "Welcome home, hot stuff! How did your big date with the Queen of Darkness go? Did you use up all the peppermints I gave you? Did they fix your nasty dragon breath? Did she let you hold her hand? Huh? Huh? Tell me, tell me, _tell meee!"_

Behind her, Felix and Calhoun appeared in the shack's doorway. "Maybe you better let him breathe before you start grilling him, shortcake," Calhoun remarked dryly, leaning against the door frame and watching the scene with amusement.

Standing next to his tall wife, Felix looked worriedly at the huge wheezing wrecker lying sprawled out on the grass. "Ralph? You okay there, brother?"

Ralph replied with some bewildered coughing and gasping, his face somewhat bluer than before. Vanellope had really hit him hard.

Still crouching on his stomach, Vanellope spotted something unusual on the right side of Ralph's face. Brows drawing together in curiosity, she crawled up to his chest and gripped the collar of his flannel shirt in both tiny hands, trying to pull his head closer so she could get a better look. Then her eyes widened in astonishment and she gasped loudly. "Sweet mother of monkey milk!" She turned around to yell at Felix and Calhoun. "Hey, guys! Come look at this!"

Curious, the couple stepped out of the doorway and ventured closer. Vanellope was pointing excitedly at the right side of Ralph's face, still clutching the collar of his shirt in one hand. Felix's eyes widened and his hands flew up to cover his mouth. Calhoun's eyebrows shot up and her jaw dropped. Vanellope burst into a fit of giggles.

Ralph was trying to catch his breath during all this. When he finally did, he groaned in frustration. So much for his good mood. He pushed himself up into a sitting position, causing the little girl to tumble from her spot on his chest all the way down to his lap. Rolling on his legs, she giggled and kicked her little feet in the air giddily, while Felix and Calhoun's expressions of surprise were changing into something else. Ralph had no idea why they were all grinning and snickering at him, but at the moment he had a more important question in mind.

"What…" he wheezed, still trying to catch his breath. "What're you guys doing in my house?"

Vanellope, now sitting comfortably in his lap, rolled her eyes at him. "Throwing you a surprise party, doi!"

Ralph arched an eyebrow as he looked down at her. That would explain all the confetti dotting the front of his clothes. "A party for what?"

"Your big date, of course!" Vanellope went on. "See, after you ran off to meet up with the Blue Bombshell, I came out here to talk to these two." She pointed at Felix and Calhoun with her thumb. "Funny thing. When I told them that you were going out with a lady friend, both of them were pretty surprised. Then we all decided we should surprise _you_ and throw a party when you came home!"

Ralph couldn't help feeling somewhat guilty about this. He hadn't told Felix anything about his plans that night, and he hadn't even considered telling Calhoun. Instead they both had to hear the news from Vanellope, who he'd only told his plans to because she pried them out of him. And yet they had all decided to throw a party for him anyway. "Why?" he asked, gazing at the couple in confusion.

Felix looked like he was about to burst with delight. "Because we're all so _happy_ for you!" he replied. From the way the handyman was beaming and his blue eyes were sparkling, it seemed he wasn't bothered about Ralph not telling him about his plans. "Going out on your first date is something worth celebrating!"

"Unless it was a _bad_ date," Calhoun said bluntly, standing with her hands on her hips. The sergeant seemed pretty calm for not hearing about Ralph's plans from him, either. Ever since she started dating Felix, she had mellowed out considerably and often came over to his game after work, and now that they were married she was here every day. Ralph couldn't avoid bumping into her now and then since he lived here, and over time they became quite friendly with each other. "Then again," she went on, giving the wrecker a sly smirk. "By the look of things, you must have done _something_ right."

Ralph stared blankly at the armored woman. "What are you talking about?"

Suddenly Vanellope jumped up and pinched his right cheek between two little fingers. "_This!_"

He yelped in pain. She wasn't nearly as strong as him, but his face was sensitive and she could pinch pretty hard. "Ow, ow, ow!"

"Quit playing innocent, you rascal!" she teased, pinching him harder. "I never knew you were such a ladies' man!"

"I _still_ don't know what you're _talking_ about!" He gripped her tiny squirming body in both hands and tried to pull her loose even as he tried to argue with her. "Rrrgh! Let _go_ of me, ya little barnacle!"

She didn't let go. Instead, she grabbed his cheek with both hands and pulled even harder, stretching his cheek as far as she could. "Hah! What's the matter, diaper baby?" she cackled. "Can't take a little roughhousing?!"

"Quit it, quit it, _quit it!_" he yelled, still trying to pull her off without hurting her. "I'm serious! You're gonna rip my face off!"

Felix and Calhoun watched the two of them in silence for a while. They exchanged a long-suffering look with each other. If no one intervened with Ralph and Vanellope's childish squabbling, they'd be at it all night.

"You wanna stop 'em, or should I?" Calhoun asked her husband.

"I'll do it this time, Tammy," Felix said, raising himself up to his full, diminutive height. "Ahem!" he began, raising his voice to be heard above their noise and trying to look and sound as commanding as possible. "Alright, you two, that's enough! Vanellope, let Ralph be. He can tell us about his date with Miss Sorceress _after_ he's come inside and had some cake."

At the mention of cake, both Ralph and Vanellope froze in mid-fight. They both looked very silly, the huge wrecker lying on the grass clutching the tiny girl who was still stubbornly clinging to the right side of his face. "Did he just say _cake_?" Ralph asked her.

"Yep," Vanellope replied with a proud smile. She released his cheek from her grip at last, allowing it to snap back into place like rubber. "I spent all night slaving away over a hot stove for you," she went on, wagging a playfully scolding finger at him. "So you'd _better_ eat it, buster."

Ralph smiled back at her, relieved that she'd finally stopped grabbing at his face and touched by her gesture of friendship. "Well, if you went to all that trouble, how can I say no?" He rose to his feet and placed her on his left shoulder, just in case she decided to make another grab at whatever was on the right side of his face. "You guys go in first," he said to Felix and Calhoun. "It's gonna be a tight squeeze in there."

Calhoun shrugged her armored shoulders, totally unfazed by the weird way the two expressed friendly affection. "I guess this means we're not gonna need the Failure Cake after all."

"Failure Cake?" Ralph echoed.

Felix nodded to him. "Yeah, it's… Well, why don't you come in and see for yourself?" He gestured for Ralph to follow him and Calhoun inside the shack.

Ralph complied, bending down to fit himself and Vanellope through the low, narrow doorway. Like everything else in Niceland, Ralph's house and all its furnishings weren't quite big enough to accommodate a guy his size. Felix had offered multiple times to build him something bigger, but Ralph always turned him down. Even if it was small and shabby, he was proud of the home he'd built for himself without any help. It wasn't as big or fancy as anything his Good Guy could build with his magic hammer, but it was _his_ work and no one else's.

To Ralph's surprise, his cramped, shabby living room was festooned with colorful streamers and balloons in every corner. Hanging up on the wall above the sofa was a big hand-painted poster covered in sparkly glitter and hearts reading _'Happy 1st Date, Ralph!'_ in big bold letters. And there were _two_ matching cakes on the coffee table. Not one. _Two_.

He stood in speechless amazement for a moment. He turned to look at Felix and Calhoun, then at Vanellope who was still riding on his shoulder. "You guys really did all this for me?"

Vanellope shrugged, hands stuffed inside the front pocket of her sweatshirt. "Eh, it's kind of a rush job. We would've done more if we had the time, but since we didn't know how soon you'd be back, we just kinda threw stuff together." This was pretty typical behavior for Vanellope when she made an especially grand gesture. She liked doing nice things for her friends, especially for Ralph, but she was too proud to admit to enjoying such mushy stuff.

Ralph turned his head and smiled at her. After seeing everything she'd done for him, he could forgive her for knocking the wind out of him and almost pulling his face off. "Thanks, kid. You didn't have to go to all this trouble."

"Yeah, I know," she replied dryly, chewing one of her hood's licorice drawstrings and trying to avoid things getting too sappy.

Still smiling at her, Ralph bent forward to look at the two cakes. They were layer cakes, completely identical round shapes covered entirely with white icing and decorated with maraschino cherries lining the edges. The only notable difference between the two was the loopy cursive words on the top written in red icing. One cake had the message '_Congrats on a great date!_' The other said '_Better luck next time!_'

Ralph arched an eyebrow at Vanellope. "I'm guessing this one's the Failure Cake," he said, pointing to the second cake.

Vanellope nodded and tapped the toes of her black licorice boots together. "Brilliant deduction, Sherlock," she said, smiling impishly.

"Now, Ralph, it's not that we were _expecting_ your date to fail," Felix cut in hastily, coming to stand by the coffee table. "It's just that, uh, we wanted to be _prepared_ in case things didn't work out with Miss Sorceress."

Calhoun nodded in agreement, pushing some balloons aside as she seated herself in the armchair by the sofa. "And since you're bigger than all of us put together, you'd probably rather eat two cakes, anyway."

Ralph rolled his eyes. "How considerate of you." He moved around the coffee table to seat himself on the sofa with Vanellope. It had caved in long ago from his immense weight and the springs creaked and groaned in protest, but it miraculously held together.

Felix, meanwhile, started neatly cutting the Success Cake and placing the slices on paper plates. "So, Ralph," he began cheerfully. "While we're serving this up, maybe you could tell us what you did to earn a kiss from your fair lady?"

Ralph jolted in surprise, flushing pink with embarrassment. How did they know? He hadn't said anything about that! "K-Kiss? W-What…Who said anything about a _kiss?_"

Calhoun gave him a disbelieving look and pointed a black-gloved finger at his face. "You didn't have to. The bright red lip-shaped mark on your cheek gave it away."

Confused, Ralph felt his cheek with one finger, the same cheek Vanellope had been pinching and pulling at earlier. Eyes widening, he pulled it away and stared at it as if he'd never seen it before. Sure enough, there was bright red lipstick there. Well, that certainly explained why everyone was teasing him and acting weird. It was amazing that he hadn't figured it out himself, really. Sorceress had kissed him there and she wore red lipstick, so of course she'd leave a mark.

And just like that, the memory of the experience caused his face to heat up for the umpteenth time that night. "Oh," was all he could manage to say.

Vanellope snickered and nudged the side of his head with her elbow. "A kiss on the first date, huh?" she teased, wiggling her eyebrows. "You two must be hitting it off pretty well!"

He frowned at her, snatched a paper napkin from the coffee table and rubbed the rest of the lipstick off his cheek. "Yes we _are_, if you must know," he grumbled. "Not that it's any of _your_ business, sassy pants."

"Now, now, Vanellope, don't tease him too much," Felix chided gently. Smiling, he offered Ralph a large, thick slice of cake and a plastic fork on a paper plate. "Here you go, brother. Dig in."

Ralph accepted the plate gratefully. "_Thank_ you, Felix." He cast a dirty look at Vanellope. "I'm glad _someone_ here isn't being totally _obnoxious_ about all this."

Vanellope hopped down from his shoulder and landed lightly on the cushion beside him. She put her little hands on her hips and frowned sternly up at him. "Maybe we _wouldn't_ be acting obnoxious if you'd just fess up and tell us the _truth_. Come on, Ralph. You weren't even gonna tell _me_ you had a date. I practically had to drag it out of you."

Ralph looked from Vanellope to Felix and Calhoun. They were all watching him and waiting expectantly for him to explain things. There was no other way out of this. He had to tell them _something_, or they'd keep pestering him about it until he cracked. The kid had a point, too. They were all his friends, and he hadn't been totally honest with them. It wasn't that he didn't trust them, far from it. He just wasn't used to having people he could openly talk to about his life. Now here were _three_ people who were perfectly willing to listen to him, and had even gone out of their way to throw him a party and bake him two cakes. The least he could do in return was to tell them what they all wanted to know.

With a frustrated groan, he held up his hands in a placating gesture. "Okay, okay, I get it. If you guys _really_ wanna hear how my date went _that_ much, here it is."

Everyone leaned in closer with barely concealed eagerness on their faces. Even Calhoun showed subtle signs of anticipation in her normally harsh expression. Ralph tapped his tiny plastic fork against his paper plate, staring at his huge piece of pink and white cherry cake as he tried to gather his thoughts.

"Guess I should start at the beginning," he said at last. He straightened up and cleared his throat to gather his thoughts. "After I left Sugar Rush, I went to meet Sorceress in the station. Vanellope gave me a bunch of peppermints for the road…"

"And your breath," the girl chimed in.

Ralph went on without missing a beat. "And of course the Surge Protector had to stop me as soon as I got there."

"Uh oh," Felix said worriedly, serving up slices of cake for Vanellope and Calhoun. "I hope you didn't get into any trouble with him this time."

Ralph frowned, remembering how the Surge Protector accused him of stealing food and indirectly insulted him in front of Sorceress. He raised two fingers and held them about an inch apart. "I was _this_ close to strangling that scrawny little jerk when Sorceress showed up." He couldn't help smirking. "I gotta say, it was kinda fun watching her charm the poor sap into letting me off the hook. You guys know what a sucker that guy is for beautiful women."

Vanellope giggled mischievously, unable to laugh with her mouth full of cake. Felix blushed and nodded in agreement. Calhoun rolled her eyes to the ceiling.

"Anyhoo," Ralph went on. "Once he was gone, we started heading to Tapper's for our date. Before we got there, though, I gave her some flowers."

Felix was serving a slice of cake for himself when he heard this. His head perked up in surprise. "Flowers? You really gave her_ flowers?_"

Ralph poked at his big piece of cake with his tiny fork. "Well, yeah," he said, trying to play it cool. "Nothin' fancy, just a couple of daisies from the park out here. They got kinda beat up, but she still liked 'em anyway."

Felix was grinning from ear to ear. "Oh, my land! I never would have suspected something so _gallant_ of you, Ralph!"

Predictably, Vanellope snickered at this. "And you said you weren't a ladies' man," she teased, nudging his giant arm with her tiny elbow.

"I am _not_ a ladies' man," Ralph said firmly. He felt his face heating up and decided to move on to the next part of the story. "Well, we went to Tapper's after that. It was Karaoke Night, and all these weirdos were taking turns singing. And I'm not gonna name any names, but there's a few guys in this arcade who you _definitely_ don't wanna hear singing."

He paused to take a bite of his cake. Much to his relief, there was no trace of chocolate in there, just bits of cherries and lots of icing. Vanellope knew better than to play a mean prank like that on him.

"So after a while," he continued. "Sorceress started bragging about being a karaoke legend and we made a deal. If she sang, I'd sing. So she went up there and… Well, let's just say she's a legend for good reason." He allowed himself a quick, somewhat dreamy smile as he thought of Sorceress' spellbinding performance. "And then it was my turn."

Everyone gaped at him incredulously.

"Wait, what?" Vanellope piped up. "_You_ actually _sang?_ In front of a _crowd?_ I thought you didn't like singing!"

"Believe me, I tried to back out of it," Ralph replied. "But she wasn't having it. And I'm not gonna lie, I was really nervous when I got up there. I think she could tell, too, because she joined in and we turned it into a double act."

Felix beamed and squealed like a teenage girl. "Awww, that's so romantic!"

Calhoun was chewing a big bite of cake and looking very bored. "Uh huh. Wake me when he gets to the good part."

"Yeah, the _kissing_ part!" Vanellope insisted, bouncing up and down on the sofa. "Tell us about the _kissing_ part!"

Ralph rolled his eyes. He was beginning to wonder if pushiness was a universal trait among women across ages and species. "Keep your sugarcoated knickers on. I'm getting to that."

He cleared his throat, feeling his face getting hot again. This part of the story wasn't going to be easy to tell. It didn't help that everyone was putting him on the spot like this, either. Better make it quick and get it over with. "Honestly, I'm not even sure _how_ it happened. I was just walking her back to her game. We were standing there at the outlet saying goodnight, when all of a sudden she leaned in and… and…" He trailed off, too flustered by the memory to say the rest.

"And she _planted_ one on ya!" Vanellope finished, grinning from ear to ear.

Ralph was still too flustered to speak. Embarrassed, he buried his blushing face in one giant hand. Vanellope found this absolutely hilarious and doubled over in a fit of rowdy childish laughter.

Felix made an even more delighted, high-pitched squealing noise. "Oooh, this is all just so romantic I can't _stand_ it!" He covered his own rosy cheeks with his hands and kicked his feet happily up and down.

Calhoun's reaction was far more subdued. While the others were laughing and giggling, she had that sly smile on her face again. "I gotta say, Wreck-It, I'm impressed. Most men aren't lucky enough to get a kiss on their first date." She winked at him. "This dame must _really_ have the hots for you."

Ralph's eyes widened and his head snapped up in surprise, as if the thought had never occurred to him. "I… She… I…" he stammered, face as red as the cherries on his half-eaten piece of cake. "Sh-She was just saying goodnight! It doesn't _mean_ anything! We're just _friends!_"

Calhoun arched a dubious eyebrow at him. "You're kidding, right? You _really_ think she kissed you goodnight because she thinks you're _just friends?_" She made finger quotes around the last two words.

More confused and frustrated than ever, Ralph threw his hands up helplessly at the ceiling. "Argh! I don't _know_ what she thinks! I don't even know what _I_ think!"

He flopped hard against the back of the sofa, sending Vanellope bouncing up a few inches off her cushion and rattling the walls of the little shack. Everyone froze, startled by his outburst and worried that the ramshackle house just might tumble down on top of them. Fortunately it was sturdier than it looked.

After taking some deep breaths, Ralph managed to calm himself down. He wasn't really angry with his friends, just annoyed with the way they were teasing him about all this. They all knew him well enough by now to sense they were pushing him too much and quieted down, even Vanellope. The child knew better than anyone how sensitive Ralph was, though neither of them would readily admit it, and she knew when it was time to hold off on the sassy comments. She laid a tiny hand on his huge arm and smiled up at him.

"It's okay, Ralph," she said gently. "You don't have to talk about it anymore if you don't want to."

With a tired sigh, Ralph hunched over the piece of cake in his lap and poked at it absently with his fork. He hadn't meant to yell like that. The kid could be a bit of a pest sometimes, but she could also be incredibly sweet. No matter what, she was still his best friend in the world and he could never stay mad at her for long.

"Nah, it's fine," he said, tapping his fork against the paper plate. "It's just… This is all really new and weird for me, y'know? I still can't wrap my brain around _why_ somebody like Sorceress could even be interested in a chump like me."

"Whoa, hold it right there," Vanellope said, standing up on her sofa cushion and propping her fists on her hips. "First of all, you're not allowed to call yourself a chump, okay? That's _my_ job. And second, why _wouldn't_ somebody like Sorceress be interested you? You're the most awesome-est guy in this entire arcade!"

"I'm serious, kid." Ralph gestured at himself with one hand. "Take a good look at me. Do you really think a big, smelly guy like me has a chance with a cool, classy lady like Sorceress?"

Frowning hard, Vanellope hopped from the sofa to stand on the coffee table, raised herself to her full three feet in height and propped her fists on her hips. "Let's review, shall we?" She proceeded to list key points from Ralph's account of his date, counting them on her fingers one by one. "She said yes when you asked her out. She convinced the Surge Protector to leave you alone. She liked the flowers you picked for her. She sang a duet with you in a crowded bar. And, last but not least, she kissed you." She stopped counting and clenched her fists at her sides. "_Kissed _you! For the love of gobstoppers, man! Doesn't _that_ mean something to you?!"

He watched her with growing confusion. "Of course it means something! But…"

She raised a hand to cut him off. "Butts are for chairs, pal! Quit worrying about _why_ Sorceress likes you!" Here she stamped one tiny foot indignantly on the table. "It doesn't _matter_ why! She just _does!_ So quit worrying and be happy about it!"

Ralph blinked at her a few times in speechless bewilderment. Vanellope was being absolutely serious. She never joked about this kind of thing. Despite all her playful teasing and creatively insulting nicknames for her best friend, she still considered Ralph her hero and refused to let anyone talk badly about him, especially Ralph himself. In her mind he really was the most awesome-est guy in the entire arcade, and anyone who couldn't see that was either blind or stupid. It wasn't like Ralph didn't appreciate how much Vanellope believed in him, but he had thirty years worth of poor self-esteem he was still working through.

Just then, Calhoun raised her hand to get Vanellope's attention. "Permission to speak freely, President Shortcake?"

Vanellope nodded firmly. "Permission granted, sarge."

Calhoun set her empty plate aside and sat up straighter in the armchair. When she spoke, her tone was somewhat less gruff than usual. "The kid's got a point, Wreck-It. I don't know much about this dame who's got you so worked up, but if she did all the things you say she did, I'd say you hit the jackpot with her."

Felix nodded in agreement with his wife. "Try not to be so hard on yourself, brother," he said to Ralph. "You're a first-rate Bad Guy and an even better friend. Why, any woman would be lucky to have a man like you, and I can tell you've got something special with Miss Sorceress." He smiled and leaned forward slightly. "She gives you the _honey glows_, doesn't she?"

Ralph rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. He still couldn't quite believe how a woman like Sorceress could like him enough to go out on a date with him and then kiss him goodnight. He couldn't even believe how these three people could care about him this much. He couldn't really argue with any of their statements, though, especially not the last thing Felix said. "Well… Yeah, I guess she does…"

Vanellope picked up Ralph's plate of half-eaten cake and thrust it at him. "Now that that's all settled, quit your bellyaching and finish your Success Cake. You earned it, and you are gonna _like_ it!

With a small smile, Ralph took the plate from her. "Yes, ma'am." He glanced at the untouched second cake on the coffee table, noting that it was nearly as tall as Vanellope. "Do I have to eat the Failure Cake, too?"

Vanellope shrugged and helped herself to another slice of Success Cake. "You can if you want. If not, we can just give it to Pac-Man. He's not picky about what goes in his mouth."

The four of them ate their cake in companionable silence for a while. Soon the Success Cake was gone, and since they were still hungry they all agreed to eat the Failure Cake, too. Once again, Felix volunteered to cut it into neat slices and pass them around to the others.

"So, Ralph," he began, handing the wrecker another giant chunk of cake. "If you don't mind me asking, do you have any plans to see Miss Sorceress again?"

Ralph took the plate from him and popped one of the cherries in his mouth. He chewed it pensively for a moment. "Not yet, but I was thinking of maybe inviting her over to visit our game some time. But now I'm thinking maybe I should go to _her_ game instead. I've never been to _Blood and Thunder_ before, and now I'm really curious to see what kind of place it is. Have either of you seen it?" he asked, addressing Felix and Calhoun.

Calhoun shook her head. "I've only seen it in passing. I get enough blood and thunder every day in my game, so I figured it was just more of the same.

"I can see why you'd think that," Felix said, wiping some icing from his lips with a paper napkin. "But _Blood and Thunder_ isn't much like _Hero's Duty_ at all."

Calhoun arched a quizzical eyebrow at her husband. "You've been there before, I take it?"

Felix nodded. "I've been there once or twice for the annual Halloween party. And let me tell you, a fantasy-horror game is the _perfect_ place for a Halloween party! You'd think it would be dangerous, what with all the ghosts, ghouls and goblins roaming around, but they're pretty nice folks when they're not on the job."

Vanellope's head perked up when she heard him describing the inhabitants of the game. "Ghosts?" she echoed, mouth full of cake and voice rising in pitch with each word. "Ghouls? And _goblins?"_

Felix nodded again. "Yes, and giant spiders. Miss Sorceress keeps them as pets, I think."

Ralph arched an eyebrow in surprise. He remembered hearing Sorceress talk about having pet spiders on their date, but the part about them being giants was news to him. "How giant are we talking here?" he asked warily.

Felix tapped his fork against his plate as he thought. "Hmm… I'd say most of them are about half as big as Vanellope." He raised his hands to show an approximation of the spiders' size. "But there's at least one about _your_ size, Ralph. Miss Sorceress was especially fond of that one, if I remember right."

Ralph's eyebrows climbed higher up his forehead as he pictured Sorceress stroking and cuddling a 9-foot-tall spider. That was an unsettling image, to say the least. "And, uh, you're _sure_ these things are tame?"

"Oh, very!" Felix said with a smile. "All of the spiders are really friendly and so well-trained. They wouldn't hurt a fly! Er, metaphorically speaking, that is."

Calhoun seemed to find this impressive. "Huh. And here I thought the Vampire Vixen was just a prissy snob with a wacky laugh."

Meanwhile, both Ralph's and Vanellope's eyes were roughly as big as dinner plates. But while Ralph's mouth was hanging open in shock, Vanellope was grinning hugely. Then she raised her plastic fork in the air like a scepter and spoke in her most commanding, presidential voice. "That settles it! We're going to _Blood and Thunder_ tomorrow!"

Ralph arched an eyebrow at her, unimpressed with her dramatics. "What do you mean, _we're_ going?"

She gazed up at him, hazel eyes big and shiny with excitement. "I mean we _both_ go! You and me, together!" She clasped her little hands in an imploring pose. "Please, Ralph? You'll take me with you, right? I promise I'll stay out of trouble! Pretty please with whipped cream and a cherry on top!"

Ralph cringed and squirmed in his seat, trying to decide what to do. Bringing Vanellope along with him to see Sorceress had the potential to be horribly embarrassing. He still remembered the way she'd called him silly names in front of her at the wedding reception. Now that he was dating Sorceress, the teasing was sure to get worse. Plus, the idea of Vanellope in the same game as a spider as huge as himself made him uncomfortable, even if it was as tame as Felix said. However, he just couldn't bring himself to turn her down. Whatever happened with his love life, there was no way he could ditch the little girl who cared about him first, especially when she was making big, shiny puppy dog eyes at him. She was even whimpering for added effect.

With a groan and a roll of his eyes, Ralph finally caved in. "You'd _better_ not make me look stupid this time," he said, pointing one huge finger at her face. "Are we clear, Munchkin?"

As soon as he said this, Vanellope dropped the begging act and was back to her usual sassy self. "Crystal clear, Sasquatch," she replied, poking her tongue at him playfully. "It's not like you need any help from me when it comes to looking stupid in front of your new _girlfriend_."

Ralph halted in the process of shoveling a new piece of cake onto his plate. "Whoa, slow down there, speed demon! We've only been on _one_ date. That's not enough to start calling Sorceress my girlfriend."

She swung her feet back and forth, gazing thoughtfully up at the ceiling. "How many dates does it take to earn girlfriend status?"

He shrugged. "I dunno. But when I figure it out, you'll be the first to know."

* * *

Author's Note: Okay, I spoke too soon in my last note. This scene with the Core Four ended up going longer than I expected, and I ran out of room to include any scenes in Sorceress' game. It just felt more important to show how Ralph's closest friends would respond to his budding romance and what they would think about it. But worry not, my fine readers! The next chapter will have Ralph venture into the mysterious world of _Blood and Thunder_, with Vanellope tagging along for the ride. Stay tuned!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: In Which Ralph and Vanellope Encounter a Giant Spider

It was a dark and stormy night. Thunder rumbled and lightning flashed across the sky. Leafless oak trees reached their twisted branches to claw at the dense black clouds overhead. The conditions on the ground weren't much better. Thick gray mist permeated the forest, obscuring most of the already dismal environment from view. Only the bravest, most foolish of souls would dare to tread through such an obviously haunted forest crawling with unseen horrors.

Brave, foolish souls like Wreck-It Ralph and Vanellope Von Schweetz.

The little racer had grown tired of walking long ago and was riding on the huge wrecker's shoulder. When they first came into _Blood and Thunder_ she was fascinated by the ominous environment so different from the sunny and colorful world of _Sugar Rush_, but after trudging around in the woods without meeting a single ghost, ghoul or goblin, she got bored.

"Are we there yet?" she whined.

Ralph tramped on through the cloud of fog swirling around his knees, snapping twigs and crunching dry leaves as he went. He was already regretting bringing Vanellope along with him, and they still hadn't found Sorceress.

"Does it _look_ like we're there yet?" he replied irritably.

Vanellope looked around at the gnarled old trees and foggy path ahead of them. "This place is a total snooze fest! Where are all the monsters? Felix said this place was full of them!" And what kind of cheap, lazy scenery _is_ this?" She swept a hand at the misty woods. "All these trees look the same. Like, _exactly_ the same. They just keep repeating over and over."

She wasn't exaggerating. Every tree in the forest was just a replica of the same five trees, all arranged along the path in supposedly random patterns. Occasionally an owl or crow could be seen roosting in the branches, watching the travelers and making appropriately spooky bird noises. They were also clones of each other, which made them even creepier than they already were.

"The arcade's closed," Ralph explained, not the least bit concerned by the repetitive background or spooky bird noises. "Maybe the monsters are on break. As for the repeating graphics, they're pretty typical for 80s games."

She slumped against the side of his head and pouted. "Thanks for the history lesson, professor."

He rolled his eyes. "You'd better not be this whiny when we find Sorceress."

"Relax, chumbo, I'll be on my best behavior." She stuck the licorice around her finger into her mouth and chewed it thoughtfully. It looked like they still had a long way to go and complaining wasn't much fun. Time for a new conversation topic. "Hey, Ralph? Your game was plugged in back in '82, right? So, if Sorceress' game's been here since '87, why'd it take so long for you to ask her out?"

Ralph kept on trudging, leaves crunching under his feet. He'd been wondering the same thing a lot lately, though he already knew the answer. There were so many things in his life he wished he could go back and do differently, but the past was the past.

"I didn't know her well enough," he replied. "We saw each other in passing once in a while over the years, but we never really talked until Felix and Calhoun's wedding. Before then I thought she was just a creepy snob in a tacky costume."

She arched an eyebrow at him. "You mean she isn't?"

"Not really, no. I mean, she can act kinda stuck-up sometimes, and her dress is…uh…" He trailed off, searching for the right word to describe Sorceress' standard attire to a nine-year-old.

"Sleazy?" Vanellope suggested.

Ralph nodded, heat rising to his cheeks. "Sure, we'll go with that. But Sorceress is _not_ sleazy, not by a long shot. She's one of the most polite, respectable people I've ever met." He paused briefly. "You know, I think she's the only person who's ever called me 'Mr. Wreck-It'."

Vanellope smiled dryly. "Oh? You don't like it when people call you Booger Brain?"

He smirked back at her. "You're the only person who's allowed to call me that, Fart Face."

"Darn right," she said, crossing one leg over the other. "So, she's polite and respectable, and she calls you Mr. Wreck-It. What else?"

He took another moment to think. It wasn't all that hard to come up with reasons to like Sorceress. The hard part was picking out the most important ones. "Let's see… She's easy to talk to, and she's a good listener. She's smart, funny, powerful, a _great_ singer. And her smile…"

He trailed off again, remembering the look on Sorceress' face when he gave her the 8bit daisies, how careful she was to keep them safe in a mug at Tapper's and how pretty she looked wearing them in her hair. Before he knew it, he had a lopsided, gap-toothed grin on his face.

This did not go unnoticed by Vanellope. She saw Ralph smile a lot, but never quite like this. Felix would smile this way whenever he was talking about how wonderful Sergeant Calhoun was. That could only mean one thing. Grinning like the Cheshire cat, she put her chin in one hand and poked Ralph's cheek with the other.

"Uh oh," she teased in a sing-song tone. "Somebody's in looove!"

Ralph blinked himself out of his daydream and stopped in his tracks so suddenly that Vanellope lost her balance and had to cling to the strap of his overalls to keep from falling off his shoulder completely.

His head snapped toward her, face bright red and twisted in an expression of utter shock. "_Love?!_ What the… Who the… Who said _anything_ about _love?!"_

Vanellope couldn't hold back some sniggering at the look on his face. "Don't try to deny it," she said, settling into a very comfortable, self-satisfied pose. "You should have seen the look on your face while you were talking about her. You practically had _hearts_ floating around your head!"

Ralph folded his huge arms and pouted, face heating up and eyes fixed on the misty forest floor. "That only happens to Felix," he grumbled.

"Exactly." She poked his cheek with her finger. "Fess up, buster. You've got a _crush_ on Sorceress. That's the reason you asked her out on a date, and now you wanna see her again because you_ like_ her. Right? Riiight?"

With a heavy sigh, Ralph plunked himself down on a nearby tree stump, causing his tiny passenger to bounce a few inches. At first he just sat there in silence with his arms folded, blushing furiously and scowling at nothing. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he caught Vanellope's face just inches away from his, grinning from ear to ear and her huge eyes sparkling with barely contained excitement.

Ralph rolled his eyes to the twisted branches hanging overhead. It was no use. He couldn't keep anything hidden from her, no matter how hard he tried. "Oh, alright. _Maybe_ I've got a _tiny_ bit of a crush on her."

That was all Vanellope needed to hear. With a triumphant _'Yes!'_ she hopped down from his shoulder to the ground, happily skipping around him in a circle. "Ralph's got a girlfriend!" she sang. "Ralph's got a girlfriend! Ralph's got a girlfriend!"

Suddenly nervous, Ralph raised both of his huge hands to shush her. "Hey, hey, not so loud! Somebody might hear you!"

Vanellope halted her skipping and turned to face him, batting her eyes mockingly. "Somebody like _Sorceress?"_

Groaning, he rubbed his forehead with two giant fingers. This was getting more embarrassing by the second. He needed to get out of this conversation, and fast.

Right on cue, there was a flash of lightning so bright that it lit up the entire forest, followed by a booming clap of thunder over their heads. With a yelp, Vanellope leapt back onto his shoulder, clinging to his hair with both hands and shivering all over.

"M-M-Maybe we shouldn't discuss this in the m-middle of a haunted f-forest during a thunderstorm…" she murmured shakily.

Ralph couldn't help feeling a twinge of sympathy for her. Vanellope was always so feisty and independent that it took moments like these to remind him of how young and vulnerable she really was. "Don't worry, kid," he said, patting her gently on the back with one big finger. "Sorceress' castle can't be much farther from here. We should be safe once we get there."

He reached into one of the pockets of his overalls and pulled out a paper napkin with a map drawn on it. Felix had made it for him from memory the night before. It wasn't much, but it was all they had to go on. He peered at it as well as he could through the darkness and mist.

"According to this, the castle's on the other side of these woods." Ralph pointed at a drawing indicating the forest with a road going through it. There was a picture of a black, spiky castle at the end. "The road we're on is the only one there is, and it goes straight through."

By now Vanellope's shivering had decreased somewhat. "You sure there's no secret shortcuts or anything?"

He squinted harder at the map, searching for anything that looked like a shortcut. "If there are, Felix didn't know about them."

Another flash of lightning in the sky caught Vanellope's attention. She gazed up past the treetops at the angry, growling clouds. Then she had an idea. "There's no fog up there. Maybe if I climb one of these trees I can see how much farther we have to go."

Ralph shrugged and folded the map shut. "Sounds like as a good a plan as any."

With that, Vanellope sprang from his shoulder and caught a low hanging branch, pulling herself up into the nearest tree like a little monkey. After some hopping, climbing, and scampering, she made it to the top. Clinging to one creaky branch and balancing on her toes to gain more height, she peered out across the overcast, sinister landscape. There was no sign of any towns or cities for miles, just treetops and storm clouds as far as the eye could see. The only sign of civilization was a crumbling, stony building jutting up in the distance. All the storm clouds seemed to be converging around it, rumbling with thunder and flashing with lightning every so often.

"I see it!" Vanellope called down from the tree. "I see the castle!"

"Good!" Ralph called back from the ground. "Are we close?"

"No, we've still got a long way to…"

She trailed off as something new caught her attention. A flock of crows had suddenly taken flight a short distance away, cawing in what sounded very much like fear. Then she noticed the trees in that direction were trembling, as if something on the ground was moving through the woods. She narrowed her eyes and leaned out from her perch, squinting at the strange spot.

"What the heck?" she muttered.

Down on the forest floor, all Ralph could see as he looked up through the branches was the bright greens of her sweatshirt and candy-striped stockings. He could still hear her just fine, though, and the change in her tone worried him. "What's wrong?"

Before Vanellope could answer, she saw more treetops shaking. No, she hadn't imagined it. It just happened again, and this time it was closer than before. A cold knot twisted in her stomach.

"Uh, Ralph? I think something's out there. And it's coming this way."

Ralph's bushy brown eyebrows drew together in a frown. Suddenly he heard the sounds of leaves rustling and twigs snapping in the underbrush. They were coming from his right, the same direction Vanellope was looking. Then it stopped, and all he could hear was his own heavy breathing. He swallowed hard, trying to keep the butterflies from flying out of his stomach as he inched closer to Vanellope's tree.

"Uh… k-kid?" he called up to her, not taking his eyes off the spot the noises were coming from. "Did you hear that?"

She peered down through the branches, unable to see much of him besides the bright red of his flannel shirt in the shadowy mist. "Hear what?"

Before he could answer, there was loud _crack_ like a dry branch snapping under something big and heavy.

Ralph swallowed again. "_That_."

Vanellope froze in her tree. It looked like she was about to get her wish to see a monster after all. Only now she wasn't so sure she wanted it to come true. "What do we do now?" she asked, trying to whisper just loudly enough for him to hear.

Ralph's mind raced. The thing that was coming their way was practically on top of them, and he had no idea what it was. Suddenly it didn't seem like such a good idea to walk into this spooky game without learning more about its inhabitants first. All he had to go on were Felix's tales of giant spiders. The idea that a spider as big as himself could be lurking around in these woods, watching and waiting in the foggy shadows, made Ralph intensely uncomfortable. The idea of said spider going after Vanellope was even worse.

"Stay put," he whispered back to her. "I'll handle this."

Clenching both mighty fists, he kept his eyes fixed on the trees and underbrush where the noise had come from, watching and listening for the mysterious noises in the dark. It was still eerily quiet. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a pair of bright, round eyes staring at him from the shadows. Was it an owl? No, owls only had two eyes. This thing had four—no, six—_eight_. Eight huge, bulging eyes. They were arranged in two rows, four on top and four below. And they were all firmly focused on him.

Just as Ralph was thinking about joining Vanellope in her tree, a bright flash of lightning briefly illuminated the woods. For a split second he saw the eight-eyed beast lurking in the shadows. His worries were confirmed. It was indeed an enormous spider covered with coarse gray hair. And it was easily as huge as Ralph, if not huger. Then the woods went dark, and a clap of thunder shook the ground.

Before he could react, the spider lunged forward and tackled Ralph, pinning him to the ground with its giant hairy forelegs. Its face hovered less than a foot away from his, and he saw eight terrified faces reflected back at him in its glassy, lidless black eyes. Screaming, he yanked his arms free and pounded both fists hard against the monster's head with a resounding _whack_. The spider made a piercing screech and scuttled backward a few feet, allowing its captive to scramble free.

Vanellope swung down from her tree just then, landing on a branch right above the wrecker's head. "Ralph! Are you okay?!" she cried frantically. Then she noticed the enormous spider on the path and gasped in horror. "Sweet mother of monkey milk! It's _ginormous!"_

_"I know!"_ Ralph shouted back, more out of fear than anything else. Clambering to his feet, he snatched the girl from the branch and clutched her to his chest protectively. "Come on, we gotta get outta here!"

He whirled to run back the way they came, but the path was completely clouded over with dark, swirling fog. They'd be easy pickings if they went stumbling around in there. The giant spider was blocking the path in front of them, too. They were trapped. Holding Vanellope tightly with both hands, Ralph regretted letting her come with him into this game more than ever. He should have known better, should have checked it out first, should have talked to Sorceress. Now all he could do was hold on to Vanellope and pray he could keep her safe from this monster.

"Don't worry, kid," he said in a hushed voice. "I'm _not_ gonna let it hurt you."

But the spider did nothing. It just stayed in its spot, hunkered down on the ground with its eight huge legs scrunched up, making high-pitched squeaky noises and quivering all over. Ralph arched an eyebrow in confusion. Was it his imagination, or was that thing actually _whimpering?_

Just then, a new voice called down through the treetops. "Hello! Is someone down there?"

Ralph's head perked up, a mixture of surprise and relief on his face. "Sorceress!" He looked up through the branches and waved one giant arm over his head. "Hey!" he called out. "Sorceress! Over here!"

Seconds later, the familiar silhouette of the blue-haired, elfin woman descended through the shadowy mist. She came down between Ralph and the giant spider, hovering a foot above the dirt path, and raised a hand above her head. A smallish ball of light appeared in her palm, bright enough to illuminate the space and everyone there. Now that he could see her clearly, Ralph had to squint and blink a few times to make sure it was really her.

Sorceress looked unusual today. Her long, thick, blue hair was pulled away from her face and tied back in a ponytail, and she was wearing different clothes. Instead of her slinky red dress, stiletto boots and gold jewelry, she wore a bright purple tracksuit and gray sneakers. A cylindrical cloth bag was slung across her back, and she carried a water bottle in her free hand.

"Ralph?" she asked, looking just as confused as he was. Then she noticed the tiny form of Vanellope in his arms staring at her with wide eyes and became even more confused. "And President Von Schweetz? What are you two doing here?"

Ralph shuffled his bare feet and shifted his weight uncomfortably. "Oh, uh, nothin'. I just… Uh, I mean_… We_ just wanted come visit your game." He smiled sheepishly. "Is this a bad time?"

"And what's with the frumpy sweat suit?" Vanellope chimed in, blunt as ever.

If Ralph wasn't still using both hands to hold her he would have buried his face in them. Instead, all he could do was stand there and look horribly embarrassed.

Sorceress blinked at the girl, stunned by her bluntness. "Er, I just came home from a yoga class," she replied, adjusting the strap on the bag that was holding her rolled up yoga mat. Then she looked away with some embarrassment. "If I knew I had guests coming over tonight, I would have worn something nicer."

Ralph was about to say she didn't look frumpy at all when the giant spider behind her uttered a piercing screech. Ralph flinched back and Vanellope clung to his shirt, both fearing the monster was about to attack. Sorceress, however, spun around to face the hideous creature without any trace of fear whatsoever.

"There you are, Charlotte!" she said, smiling brightly.

She used the kind of voice most people would use when talking to a large, friendly cat, and from the way the monster was purring that wasn't too hard to imagine. She left the ball of light floating behind her above the path, hovered toward the giant spider, and proceeded to tenderly stroke its huge, hairy head. Its shivering subsided and its purring grew louder. Ralph and Vanellope looked on in total bewilderment, neither one knowing what to say.

At last, it was the wrecker who broke the silence. "Uh, I'm guessing this is one of those pet spiders you were talking about last night, huh?"

"That's right," Sorceress replied. She straightened up and tucked a loose piece of hair behind one pointed ear, looking more dignified than should have been possible for a woman in a bright purple tracksuit and carrying a yoga mat. "Mr. Wreck-It, President Von Schweetz, this is Charlotte. I hope she didn't frighten you. She always gets excited when visitors come to call."

Ralph chuckled awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. So that was what the pouncing was about. The spider wasn't trying to eat him, she just wanted to play. "Ehh, she might have scared us a _little_ bit."

Vanellope returned to her perch on the wrecker's shoulder. "_More_ than a little bit."

Charlotte was now attempting to hide behind her mistress' back. This was impossible, of course, since the woman was less than half her size.

"There, there, darling," Sorceress said soothingly. "Don't be scared. These people are friends, they won't hurt you."

In reply, the spider made a series of chirps and squeaks.

Sorceress listened intently, as if she could understand. Then her eyes widened in surprise. "He _punched_ you? In the _face?"_

Ralph pressed two fingers to his forehead and groaned. Of course Sorceress _would_ be able to communicate with her pet monster, and of course it would rat him out. This visit wasn't going at _all_ how he'd hoped. "Uh, yeah… She kinda caught me by surprise…"

Sorceress turned to look at him. "Did she jump on you?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

Frowning, she turned back to the giant spider and put her hands on her hips. "Bad girl, Charlotte! You know it's against the rules to jump on people when the arcade is closed!"

The spider cringed guiltily, shrinking closer to the ground. It made some more chirps and squeaks.

"I don't care _what_ you thought he smelled like," Sorceress replied, wagging a scolding finger at her enormous pet. "That's no excuse. You could have hurt him! Shame on you!"

Ralph and Vanellope watched all this with a mixture of confusion and amusement. It was pretty funny to watch a small woman like Sorceress lecturing this hideous hulking monster as if it were a spoiled child. Even funnier was that said monster was practically hugging the ground now and looking very pathetic indeed.

With a long-suffering sigh, Sorceress turned back to face her guests. "I am so, _so_ sorry for Charlotte's unseemly behavior," she said contritely. "She meant no harm, she was just overexcited. I promise it won't happen again."

Vanellope eyed the giant spider warily. "She doesn't eat _kids_, does she?"

"Oh, no, not at all," Sorceress said.

The girl's eyes brightened hopefully. "So it's safe it I pet her?"

Sorceress looked from the tiny girl to the giant spider cowering on the path. Charlotte had never been around a child before, since she never left the game and children never came to visit. Still, she had trained her monstrous pet well over the years and was confident that she would behave herself.

Then she looked at Ralph. "As long as Mr. Wreck-It approves, I don't see why not."

Vanellope turned to Ralph and clasped her hands, gazing at him with huge puppy dog eyes. "Please, Ralph? Pleeease can I pet the giant spider?"

Ralph looked from Vanellope to the spider. He still wasn't sure it was completely safe to get close to the thing that had pounced on him earlier, but after seeing how friendly it was with Sorceress and how timid it was acting now, maybe it was okay. And if it tried anything, he knew a good, hard punch would be enough to scare it off.

He smiled back at Vanellope, rolling his eyes jokingly. "Sure, sure, just quit looking at me like that."

"Yes!" Vanellope cheered, pumping her fists in the air. Then she hopped down from his shoulder and scampered up to the monstrously huge spider. She paused a few feet away to take in the sheer size of her. Felix wasn't kidding. She really _was_ as big as Ralph.

Charlotte stared blankly at this strange little human standing in front of her. She didn't look like a threat, so she let her come closer and regarded her curiously with her eight shiny eyes. Vanellope stared back with equal curiosity. The giant spider was still a huge, hideous monster, but after seeing the way Sorceress handled her, she wasn't scared anymore.

With a smile, she extended one little hand in greeting. "Hi! I'm Vanellope. Nice to meet ya, Charlotte!"

Charlotte stared at the girl quietly for a moment. Then she extended one of her hairy pedipalps from around her mouthparts, the only appendages she could use to touch such a little creature without crushing it. It was the closest she could get to giving her a handshake. Vanellope giggled as the spider's bristles tickled her fingers.

Ralph watched them closely, clenching and unclenching his giant fists, ready to clobber the huge spider if it decided to take a bite out of his tiny friend. Then he felt the familiar touch of Sorceress' hand on his arm and his tension all but melted away.

"It's alright, Ralph," she assured him. "I promise you, Charlotte won't do anything to hurt her."

He allowed himself to relax. If there was anybody in this strange game he could trust, it was Sorceress. "Okay, if you say so."

With a smile, Sorceress took a sip from her water bottle and turned to watch Vanellope and Charlotte. The girl had moved on from greeting the giant spider to dragging her fingers through the hair on its huge head. "She's very brave for someone so young, isn't she?" Sorceress remarked.

Ralph nodded, resting his hands on his hips. "Yeah, she is. She might even give Cybugs a chance, if they weren't such a mindless, deadly virus." He shifted his weight awkwardly. "By the way, uh, I'm sorry about what she said to you earlier. She just doesn't think before she talks sometimes."

Sorceress looked down at her bright purple tracksuit and gray sneakers. They didn't look _that_ frumpy, did they? "That's alright," she said, fidgeting with the cap of her water bottle. "These clothes are for exercise. They're meant to be comfortable, not attractive." Despite her words, she obviously felt self-conscious.

"Actually, you look pretty good in sweats." As soon as Ralph said those words he wanted to kick himself. Seriously? You look pretty good in sweats? That had to be the lamest compliment of all time.

Sorceress, however, didn't think the compliment was lame at all. It was slightly clumsy, maybe, but it was still sweet of him to say. She brushed a long piece of loose hair behind one long, pointy ear. "You really think so?" she asked, smiling shyly.

Ralph felt his face heating up again. With all her hair pulled back in a ponytail, there was nothing to obscure her face from view. She was wearing less makeup and no jewelry, and yet she still looked pretty. It had to be because of that smile. "Uh... Yeah…" he replied, smiling back rather awkwardly. "N-Not that there's anything wrong with your _other_ clothes!" he added hastily. "You look good in those, too!"

She chuckled behind one hand, and he thought he saw her cheeks turning pink. The tips of her long ears were also slightly pink. Did they always do that when she blushed? Why hadn't he noticed before? It was really cute. But of course he couldn't tell her that. That would be stupid.

Suddenly, Vanellope let out a dry, nasal laugh. Both Ralph and Sorceress turned to see that she had climbed up on Charlotte's back, and now she sat there perfectly happy and content, tapping the toes of her licorice boots together.

"Aww, you're just a big ol' scary sweetie!" she said to the giant spider. It didn't seem the least bit bothered about being treated like a living jungle gym by a small child.

It didn't surprise Ralph at all that Vanellope was so quick to lose her fear of the monster. He was living proof that she was fine with considering anyone who was big, strong or scary as a potential friend. Sorceress, however, was thoroughly impressed. She knew basically nothing about young children, and in her limited experience they tended to be afraid of monsters, especially giant, hairy monsters with multiple eyes and limbs. Yet here was one who happily climbed on the back of just such a monster as if it were a harmless pony with eight legs. Clearly Vanellope Von Schweetz was no ordinary child.

That was when the light spell floating above the path started to flicker like a candle. Sorceress took this as a sign that it was time to be moving on. Again she straightened up, looking as dignified as possible in her bright purple tracksuit. "Where are my manners? Here we are just standing out here in the cold when I have a big, empty castle you could be resting in. You two must be tired after walking so far."

"_I'm_ not tired!" Vanellope announced proudly.

"_You_ weren't the one doing all the walking," Ralph pointed out.

Sorceress chuckled lightly. "It's still a long way from here, so I'll come with you."

Vanellope shifted to her hands and knees, eyes bright and eager. "Can Charlotte come, too?"

Sorceress turned to Ralph for approval. "I don't mind if you don't."

Ralph glanced from her to Vanellope, who was beaming at him hopefully from atop Charlotte's huge, hairy back. He gave the giant spider a stern look and wagged one thick finger at her face. "Don't try anything funny. I got my eye on you, fuzz ball."

Charlotte made an affirmative chirping noise.

With that, Sorceress took the floating ball of light in hand, recast the spell to restore its brightness, and motioned for the others to follow her through the misty woods. Charlotte rose from the ground with a grinning Vanellope still clinging to her back. The girl was clearly having the time of her life riding on the monster's back. The only thing that could make this more fun was if Charlotte was running.

"Giddy up!" she ordered, kicking her little heels against the giant spider's sides.

Charlotte didn't seem to notice her passenger's behavior at all, as she continued to shuffle along at the same speed.

"I think that only works with horses," Ralph said, falling into step just behind Sorceress. He couldn't really walk next to Charlotte since her eight long legs took up most of the path. He cleared his throat, trying to think of something gentlemanly to say to Sorceress. "I, uh, I can carry your bag for you, if you want," he offered.

"It's only a yoga mat," Sorceress replied, glancing over her shoulder at him. Then she saw that he seemed to deflate a little when she said this, and she realized he was only trying to be polite. It wouldn't hurt to humor him on this. "Actually," she went on, lifting the strap of the bag over her head. "Now that you mention it, it's getting rather heavy."

Ralph brightened up instantly as he took the bag for her. "At your service, milady," he said, tucking it under his arm. Okay, maybe he was laying it on a little thick, but it was worth it if it made her smile. And it did.

Vanellope saw all of this, of course, and decided to help things along. Holding onto Charlotte's bristles with one hand, she leaned down and cupped a hand around her mouth. "Psst!" she whispered behind Ralph. "Tell Sorceress you think she's pretty!"

He turned and frowned at her. "Right now?" he replied in a hushed voice. "Are you nuts, kid?"

"Girls like to hear that they're pretty!" she insisted. "You gotta suck up if you wanna get another kiss from her!"

"I'm done talking about this," he hissed back, cheeks reddening in the dark. "And quit whispering so loud!"

"I'm _not_ loud!" Vanellope retorted. "Whispering isn't loud!" Then she blew a noisy raspberry at him that totally negated her point.

Floating at the front of the line with her back to them, Sorceress pretended not to hear what they were bickering about. She quietly took a sip from her water bottle and smiled to herself as the pointy tips of her ears turned pink.

* * *

Author's Note: I was worried I wouldn't get this chapter done by Halloween, but it looks like I've met my self-imposed deadline after all! Yay! There will be more about _Blood and Thunder_ in the next chapter, and I'm planning to introduce Sorceress' Good Guy, too. And yes, I named Charlotte after the eponymous spider of "Charlotte's Web" by E.B. White. I love that book so darn much.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: In Which Vanellope Makes a Mess and Sorceress Receives an Unwelcome Visitor

The first thing Ralph and Vanellope noticed about Sorceress' castle was how dark and menacing it was. It wasn't as tall as the 99-story skyscraper of _Hero's Duty_, but it was still plenty huge and constantly surrounded by storm clouds. The looming, ancient building looked more like a medieval fortress than a luxurious palace. It was hewn out of heavy blocks of black stone with crenellated walls, cross-shaped windows and jutting turrets. The dainty white candy castle in _Sugar Rush_ with its delicate spires and towers was like a dollhouse by comparison.

The building stood in the middle of a lake surrounded by craggy mountains, and was accessible only by a long stone bridge lined with gruesome statues and gargoyles. During gaming hours they came to life, and once the gamers fought their way past them they got into the castle through the iron gates at the end of the drawbridge. Then they fought through even more enemies waiting inside until the ultimate battle with the final boss; none other than Sorceress herself.

Needless to say, the place wasn't designed to attract guests. But, like everything else Ralph and Vanellope had encountered in _Blood and Thunder_ so far, it wasn't as bad as it seemed, though they didn't know it yet. With Sorceress leading the odd little group, they made it through the haunted forest without further incident and none of the guardian sculptures on the bridge made any move to attack. They just remained silently frozen on their pedestals, watching their mistress, her monstrous pet spider, and her two human guests pass by with curious, stony eyes.

A somber, unsmiling Cyclops greeted them at the door. He was shorter than Ralph but taller than Sorceress, and dressed in a dark gray suit. With a guttural groan, he bowed to his mistress and gazed at the two unfamiliar humans with his round single eye.

"Roger, this is Wreck-It Ralph of _Fix-It Felix, Jr_." Sorceress said, looking very regal and composed in her bright purple tracksuit. "And this is President Vanellope Von Schweetz of _Sugar Rush_. They are my guests this evening."

With another guttural groan, Roger inclined his head and opened the creaky wooden door wider, gesturing for them to come inside.

Sorceress turned to Vanellope, who was still riding on the giant spider's back. "You'll have to come down now, Miss President. Charlotte can't fit in here."

Pouting, Vanellope hopped to the ground and patted one of the monster's long, hairy legs. "See ya later, Charlotte. Thanks for the ride."

"Yeah, and thanks for not eating us, too," Ralph added, still carrying Sorceress' yoga mat under his arm.

Charlotte made a squeaky chirp in reply. Then she turned and disappeared over the edge of the cliff, climbing down the rocks as easily as any normal-sized spider would do.

As they followed Sorceress and the Cyclops named Roger inside the castle, Ralph and Vanellope looked around at their new surroundings. Felix wasn't kidding when he'd told them last night that _Blood and Thunder_ was the perfect place for Halloween. They were walking through a corridor where the main source of light was a row of torches on the wall, casting flickering light on aging suits of armor standing at attention. There were dusty cobwebs in every corner and faded oil paintings on the wall. All that was missing was candy and jack-o-lanterns.

Ralph felt the little hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. All of the armors were shorter than him and completely motionless, but he couldn't shake the feeling that they were watching him. The paintings were giving him the same unsettling feeling, as if their eyes followed his every move.

"Uh, Sorceress?" he asked, trying not to sound nervous. "These things aren't _alive_, are they?"

Floating beside her Cyclops servant at the front of the line, Sorceress looked back over her shoulder at Ralph. "No."

He started to relax a bit.

"They're possessed," she added.

He tensed up again. Instinctively, he reached for Vanellope, who was walking by his side, and pulled her closer. She looked up at her large friend, confused.

"What does possessed mean?" Vanellope asked.

"It means they're inhabited by ghosts," Sorceress replied casually. "Their job is to attack intruders. Since you're my guests, they won't bother you."

At the mention of ghosts, Vanellope's eyes lit up with excitement. She scampered away from Ralph and up to a particularly imposing suit of shiny black armor holding a spiked club. Then she banged on its hollow leg with one tiny fist. "Hey, Tin Man! Rise and shine!"

Ralph snatched her up by her hood. "Cut it out! Are you out of your mind?! That thing's got a weapon as big as you! It could squash you like a bug!"

"But it _won't!_" Vanellope whined. "Sorceress said so!" In a flash of blue and white pixels, she vanished from Ralph's grip and zipped right back to the black suit of armor. "Wake _up_, ya lazy bum!" she demanded, kicking impatiently at the suit's armored shins. "Come on! I ain't got all day!"

Ralph groaned and rubbed his temples with one finger. He looked up to see Sorceress floating next to him, staring blankly at the little girl trying to order an empty suit of armor around. Maybe he shouldn't have brought Vanellope here after all. Not only was it impossible to spend quality time with the woman he'd just started dating and developed a serious crush on, but the kid was doing a great job of embarrassing him in front of her.

"Eh heh…" he chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "She _really_ wants to see a ghost."

Sorceress didn't answer. She still wasn't sure what to make of Vanellope. From the stories Ralph told of her at Bad Anon and her own limited experience, the young president of _Sugar Rush _was a highly unusual child. She was an excellent racer, the ruler of her game, a glitch who wasn't technically a glitch, and the best friend Ralph ever had. In short, Vanellope's opinion of Sorceress could either make or break their budding relationship. So she had to be nice to her, even if she was behaving rather badly.

She cleared her throat to get the girl's attention. "Pardon me, Miss President," she said politely. "But that's not going to work."

Vanellope stopped kicking the armor to look back at the floating woman in confusion. "Huh?"

Sorceress nodded seriously. "The ghosts around here aren't like the ones in Pac-Man. You can't bully them into doing what you say. If you really want to get their attention, that's the worst way to do it."

Vanellope arched an eyebrow curiously. She was still learning about this strange woman who Ralph had taken such an interest in lately, and so far she seemed to be okay. Anybody who could keep a giant spider under control, rule over a bunch of monsters and still have decent manners was alright in her book. She could fly and use magic, too, which was really cool. But they weren't exactly friends yet. And if Ralph wanted to keep dating this woman, she needed to make absolutely sure she was worthy of him. That was the real reason Vanellope wanted to come to this game in the first place. The chance to see monsters and ghosts was just an added bonus.

She tucked her hands inside the front pocket of her sweatshirt and turned to face the floating woman in the purple tracksuit. "I guess you'd know all about that, since this is your game and all. How do _you_ talk to ghosts around here?"

Sorceress tapped her chin thoughtfully for a moment. Then a smile spread across her face. "A séance."

Vanellope arched a confused eyebrow. "Say what, now?"

"A séance," Sorceress repeated. "It's a simple ritual for contacting the dead."

Vanellope still looked confused. "Why do you need to use a ritual in the first place? Can't you just tell 'em to come out and talk to us?"

"The spirits around here are a timid lot," Sorceress explained. "They rarely show themselves without a proper invitation. If you truly wish to see one, a séance is the best way to go about it. We could have one now, if you like."

Vanellope glanced up at the suit of armor she'd been banging on. It remained as still and silent as ever. "Well, my plan didn't work," she said with a shrug. "Let's give yours a shot."

Sorceress' smile widened. "Excellent! Roger, fetch my séance kit and bring it to the living room."

As the Cyclops butler shuffled off to obey his mistress, Ralph cleared his throat uncomfortably. He'd been listening to their conversation with a growing sense of dread. "Uh, ladies, I don't think this is such a good idea."

Vanellope smirked and nudged him with one little elbow. "What's the matter, fraidy cat? You're not scared of ghosts, are ya?"

He stiffened and frowned down at her. "I didn't say that. I'm just saying this whole summoning dead people thing could be a bad idea."

"You worry too much, Mr. Wreck-It," Sorceress assured him. "I've held many séances in my time, and nothing bad has ever come of it. Don't you trust me?"

He stammered a bit, trying to think of some way to talk her out of this without admitting he was scared. "Yeah, sure, I trust you. But…"

Suddenly she laid a finger against his lips. "Hush," she said firmly.

Ralph froze. He tried to say something back, but he couldn't seem to get his lips to move with her touching them like this. His mouth went dry and he felt warmer suddenly. Then he had a flashback to the night before. This was just like the moment when she touched his face as she was about to kiss him. Oh, man, was she going kiss him again? Here? Now? With Vanellope and who knew how many invisible ghosts watching?!

Sorceress couldn't help smiling. It was fun to see him get all flustered and blushing like this. He looked so adorable that she was strongly tempted to kiss him right then and there. But there was a child present, and this wasn't the time or place. It could wait until later, when the moment was right.

With some reluctance, she took her finger away from his lips. "It's alright, Ralph. I promise you, nothing bad is going to happen." Then she turned and motioned for her guests to follow her. "Come, the living room is this way."

Ralph nodded dumbly, still unable to speak even though his lips were free. His emotions were strangely conflicted. Part of him was relieved that Sorceress hadn't kissed him this time, but another part of him wished that she had. And she'd called him 'Ralph' again. Why did it feel so good when she called him by his name?

Vanellope had seen the whole thing, of course, and was more than a little disappointed that no kissing had happened. It wasn't a total letdown, though. She'd suspected since yesterday that Sorceress liked Ralph the same way he liked her, and this moment seemed to confirm it. And judging from the goofy, dreamy look on his face, his crush on her wasn't as little has he claimed.

Ralph snapped out of his trance when he heard the all too familiar sound of her snickering. He glowered down at her. "Don't. Say. A word."

Vanellope said nothing. She just flashed an annoyingly smug, mischievous grin at him.

* * *

In the living room there were no possessed suits of armor or spooky paintings with staring eyes anywhere. It was cleaner and more lived in compared to the old and dusty corridor. Everything was coordinated in varying shades of black, crimson and violet with the occasional glint of gold here and there. There were no cobwebs in the corners, and no dust on any surfaces.

A sofa and coffee table sat across from the fireplace, an iron candelabra hung in the center of the ceiling, and a Persian rug covered the stone floor. The mantelpiece and coffee table had some odd knickknacks decorating it like bird skulls and dragon figurines. A bookshelf stood in one corner and a stack of books sat on the coffee table with various bookmarks sticking out of their yellowing pages. A single window on the wall looked out on the lake. Naturally, the weather was still dark and stormy outside.

"Wow," Vanellope commented, amazed by how different this room looked from what little she'd seen of the rest of the building. "Are we still in the same castle?"

"I _think_ we are," Ralph said. "This must be one of the rooms the gamers don't see."

He bent down to place the rolled up yoga mat he was carrying next to the sofa. As he stood up to look around some more, his head collided with the metal candelabra hanging from the ceiling. Fortunately for him it wasn't lit, but it was still painful.

"Ow!" he cried, rubbing the sore spot on the back of his skull with one hand. "Mother Hubbard!"

"Watch your head," Sorceress called out a little too late. She picked up a fresh log by the fireplace and placed it in the fire. Then she floated up to the candelabra and started lighting the candles one by one with a flame at the end of her finger. "Please make yourselves comfortable."

Vanellope took this as an invitation to explore the new room. She walked up to the coffee table and picked up a book from the top of the stack. It was thick and heavy and had a musty smell. The title read _Hurricane Irene: Nightmare From Above_. Curious, she opened the book to see what was inside.

_WHOOSH!_

A gust of wind blasted from the pages, filling the room with a whistling whirlwind that quickly turned into a tornado. It blew Vanellope completely off the ground and Sorceress had to cling to the chain of the candelabra to keep from flying into a wall. The only person who wasn't swept away was Ralph. He was too heavy for the winds to lift him, but they were pushing him back pretty hard, flapping his hair and stretching his lips back from his teeth.

"_Vanellope!_" he yelled over the noise, shielding his face from the gale with both mighty arms. "What the heck did you _do?!"_

"_I don't know_!" she screamed, flailing her arms and legs helplessly as the winds swirled her higher and higher, carrying her closer and closer to the ceiling. "_Help!_ I can't stop!"

Sorceress managed to catch the flying Vanellope by the wrist before she could get blown any higher, but it was harder to keep her grip on the chain while holding onto the girl. "_Ralph! _The book! Close the _book!"_

Ralph lowered his arms just enough to look around and see the book lying open on the floor at the center of the tornado. Gritting his teeth, he pushed through the powerful swirling air currents, making his way across the floor. What kind of crazy magic _was_ this?!

"Ralph!" Vanellope cried, clinging to Sorceress' arm for dear life. "I'm gonna puke! _Hurry up!"_

"_I'm trying!"_ he bellowed back, though he could barely hear his own voice anymore.

He was crawling on all fours now, using the stones in the floor to pull himself along. When he was within arm's reach of the book, he reached out and grabbed it. Squinting against the gale blowing in his face, he forced the book shut. The instant the pages were closed, the winds stopped completely and the room went silent, save for the sound of his breathing.

Then gravity kicked in and the furniture came crashing down around him. Ralph yelped and covered his head as the sofa, bookcase, and coffee table clattered and banged noisily to the floor. Then Sorceress and Vanellope dropped from the candelabra and landed on his back with a _whump_.

For a moment Vanellope just sat in Sorceress' arms in stunned silence, her black hair a windblown mess and her large eyes wide with shock. Then her face broke into an almost maniacal grin. "That. Was. _Awesome!_" She broke out of Sorceress' grip and scrambled across Ralph's back to reach his face. "Let's do that again!"

Ralph peeled his face off the floor to stare at her with a look of absolute bewilderment. He sighed and shook his head. "Kid, you are three kinds of crazy."

Recovering from her rough landing on Ralph's back, Sorceress sat up slowly. Her long thick hair was blown out of its ponytail and hanging over her face in a tangled blue mass. "Is… Is everyone alright?" she asked, rising shakily to her feet and trying to smooth her frazzled hair back into place.

"Yeah, we're good," Ralph said. He pushed himself up off the floor and held up the closed book, eying it suspiciously and turning it over in his hands. "What kind of book _is_ this?"

"It's magic, obviously," Sorceress said. She took the book from him and frowned sternly at Vanellope. "And I would _greatly_ appreciate it if you didn't touch my books without asking from now on."

Vanellope frowned back and put her hands on her hips. "How was I supposed to know that was gonna happen? Books don't usually cause hurricanes!"

Sorceress tucked the book under her arm and propped one hand on her hip. "_My_ books do. So if you would please be so kind, do _not_ touch them again."

Vanellope was none too pleased by the woman's bossy attitude. Frowning harder, she puffed herself up to her full three feet of height. "Listen, sister. You can't tell _me_ what to do. I'm a president!"

Sorceress loomed over her and glared. "Well, _I_ certainly didn't vote for you."

Seeing an argument starting, Ralph decided it was time to intervene and gently pushed the two headstrong females apart. "Hey, hey, everybody calm down! This was all an accident, okay? The important thing is that no one got hurt."

Suddenly, something smashed through the window, sending broken glass scattering across the already damaged living room. That same something landed a powerful kick on Ralph's jaw, and once again he found himself lying on the floor. When he came to, he found an unfamiliar man standing over him with one boot pressing down on his chest. He had dark hair, pointed elfin ears and a square jaw, and was dressed in brown leather armor. He was also aiming the tip of a gleaming broadsword at Ralph's nose.

"Aha!" the heroic-looking man exclaimed, keeping his sword aimed firmly at his enemy's face. "I've tracked you down at last, foul-smelling ogre! How dare you attack a lady in her own home and destroy her property!"

Ralph stared blankly up at him from the floor, struggling to make sense of what was happening. "Huh?"

Vanellope was also staring very blankly at the stranger. She looked up at Sorceress, the only person who might be able to explain what was going on. "Who's this guy?"

Sorceress knew exactly who this man was. She should, after co-starring in the same game with him for the past twenty-five years. With a longsuffering sigh, she closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead with one hand. "That's Hunter," she said to Vanellope. "My fool of a Good Guy."

Oblivious to his co-worker's words, Hunter sprang back from his fallen opponent and crouched in a fighting stance, holding his sword in both hands. "On your feet, sniveling cur! Stand up and fight like a man!"

Ralph pushed himself up into a sitting position and frowned, rubbing his sore jaw. He didn't know what a sniveling cur was, but it sounded insulting. "Fight you? Look, buddy, I don't even _know_ you."

"_Enough!"_ Sorceress interrupted.

A clap of thunder sounded at the same time, and Ralph was sure there was a connection. He recognized the cold, hard look in her eyes and wisely kept his mouth shut.

Sorceress marched up to Hunter and put her hand on her hips. "Just what do you think you're doing?"

Hunter looked at her in surprise, as if he hadn't even noticed her until now. "Oh, hello, Sorceress!" he said, flashing a dazzling white smile. "Did you just get back from your yoga class?"

"Don't change the subject," she retorted, completely immune to his dashing good looks. "Explain yourself. Why did you think it was a good idea to crash through my window and threaten the first person you landed on?"

Hunter arched an eyebrow, not understanding why she was upset with him. "I picked up this vile trespasser's awful stench in the forest. Then I followed his trail to the castle." He swept one hand dramatically over the scattered and broken furniture in the room. "It seems I arrived just in time! See what damage he's already inflicted!"

Vanellope cleared her throat, fidgeting somewhat guiltily. "Uh, that was _my_ fault, actually."

Hunter gaped in surprise, finally noticing the little racer for the first time. "You, tiny dwarf child? How could someone so miniscule create a mess so gigantic?"

"She opened one of my magic books," Sorceress said, holding up the book in question. "Ralph had nothing to do with it."

"Ralph?" Hunter echoed. He turned his attention back to the huge wrecker before him, who was now standing upright and dusting bits of broken glass off his overalls. "As in Wreck-It Ralph?"

Ralph looked back at him, slightly less bewildered and more than a little annoyed with the Good Guy for kicking him in the face. "Yeah," he replied gruffly.

Hunter lowered his sword, an expression of awe on his face. "The same Wreck-It Ralph who singlehandedly eliminated a swarm of ravenous Cybugs with a blazing geyser of boiling hot Diet Cola at the risk of his own life, thus saving every game and sprite in this entire arcade from an untimely demise?"

Ralph arched an eyebrow at the elaborate, long-winded description of his exploits. "Yeah…"

With a dramatic gasp, Hunter dropped to one knee and bowed his head. "A thousand pardons, most great and valiant hero! I beg your forgiveness for my rash and unseemly conduct! Had I known who you were I would have never raised a hand against you!"

Ralph took a step backward. This guy and his over-the-top mood swings were starting to freak him out. "Uh… Sure, whatever."

Hunter's head perked up suddenly. "Ah, but I'm forgetting! The heroine of your tale is also here!" Still on his knees, he spun around to face Vanellope. "Am I correct, dear girl, in assuming that you are Vanellope Von Schweetz? A champion among racers and the one true ruler of that fair kingdom known as Sugar Rush?"

Vanellope, who had been snickering at the dashing hero's melodramatics, was suddenly thrown off-kilter. "Um, yeah, that's me."

"Noble maiden fair!" Hunter cried, gripping one of her little hands in his. "When I heard the tale of your meteoric rise from the ashes to regain your rightful place like a glorious phoenix, my heart was moved to tears! I am truly honored to be in your most illustrious presence!"

"Well, thanks, I—_Gah!"_ She yelped in disgust as he kissed the back of her hand. Glitching herself free, she reappeared behind Ralph and used the rumpled Persian rug on the floor to scrape at her contaminated hand, convinced that Hunter had just given her cooties. "Gross, gross, gross, gross, _grooooss!"_

Hunter stood up and let out a hearty, good-natured laugh. "What a merry gathering this is!" He sheathed his sword and turned to Sorceress. "Why didn't you tell me you had such esteemed company tonight? If I'd known I would have worn my formal armor and brought mead for everyone!"

Sorceress just stood there glaring daggers at him in an expression of quiet fury. Her patience was wearing thin and it was starting to show. Her living room was just destroyed in a magical hurricane, her foolhardy Good Guy had broken into her home and attacked the man she'd just begun dating, and now his audacious personality was driving her to her wit's end. A bolt of lightning flashed outside the open window, and a clap of thunder shook the castle.

Ralph felt a nervous lump forming in his throat. This was _not_ a good sign. Sorceress wasn't quick to anger, and on the rare occasions when she did get upset she managed to keep it tightly controlled. But on the even rarer occasions when something pushed her too far, the results weren't pretty. Images of her legendary temper tantrum in Game Central Station all those years ago flashed in his mind. If somebody didn't calm her down quick, there'd be dark spirits and green slime everywhere.

He decided to start with the Good Guy of the game, since he was the most obvious cause of her steadily worsening mood. "Uh, look. Hunter, was it? Sorceress didn't know we were coming tonight. We kinda dropped in by surprise."

Somehow Hunter remained oblivious to the glare of pure rage he was getting from his Bad Guy. "Ah, I see," he replied, nodding as if he understood completely. "May I ask as to why you chose to grace our lowly game with your most illustrious presence, Sir Ralph?"

Ralph shuffled somewhat uncomfortably. He'd been hoping to say this to Sorceress at a more private moment, but it seemed like it needed be said now. "Well, uh… I just really wanted to see her again."

Hunter arched an eyebrow at this, but Ralph wasn't looking at him anymore. His eyes were on Sorceress. She was looking back with surprise rather than anger in her eyes. The thunder outside became quieter.

By now Vanellope had returned to her rightful place next to Ralph. Yes, this was good. Things were finally getting back on track. "Don't stop there, knucklehead," she whispered loudly, nudging his giant hand with her elbow. "Go on, tell her the rest!"

Cheeks reddening with embarrassment, Ralph frowned at her. "I don't need any coaching from _you_, bossy boots." Then he straightened up and cleared his throat. "The, uh, the _rest_ is… That is, I was wondering, maybe, if you're not busy…" He paused to collect his thoughts. This had sounded a lot less pathetic in his head. Rubbing the back of his neck, he pushed on. "Would you, uh, maybe… wanna come hang out in _Fix-It Felix, Jr. _some time?"

There was a moment of silence as Sorceress processed what he'd just asked her. Then she hugged her book to her chest, hovered a foot off the ground, and beamed like a giddy schoolgirl. All thoughts of messy living rooms and obnoxious co-workers vanished from her mind. She'd been hoping Ralph would ask her out on another date, and she'd never been to his game before. Finally something good was happening!

"Of course I would! I'd _love_ to see what your game is like!" Realizing she sounded too eager, she blushed and looked away, allowing her messy hair to hide half her face. Then she managed to regain enough composure to resume her usual dignified bearing. "I mean… Yes, that sounds nice."

Ralph hadn't expected such an enthusiastic reply, nor did he expect Sorceress' mood to improve so completely. She was smiling and literally floating on air, and despite her seemingly calm demeanor her pointed ears were still pink from blushing. The thunder outside had gone practically silent, proving his theory that the weather in this game was magically in tune with her emotions. He almost expected the sun to burst through the clouds, complete with a rainbow and a choir of angels singing. Actually, no, not angels. That would just be silly.

Vanellope was grinning from ear to ear and hopping from one foot the other. This was going better than she could have expected for a clumsy oaf like Ralph and a prissy snob like Sorceress. _Especially_ Sorceress. Oh, she managed to put on the prim and proper act again pretty quick, but she wasn't fooling anyone.

Eager to keep things moving in the right direction, she cupped both hands around her mouth and spoke to Ralph in a stage whisper. "Good job, lover boy! Now tell her she's pretty! Then she'll _have_ to kiss you!"

Turning beet red, Ralph spun to face her. "I am _not_ gonna say that! And you're _still_ whispering too loud!"

Sorceress couldn't suppress a giggle at their childish squabbling. Unfortunately, Hunter was still present and of course he wasn't going to keep quiet about what had just happened. He strode up to her fearlessly and clapped a gloved hand on her shoulder, flashing that dazzling grin of his. "Well, well, well! I never would have guessed you had a soft spot for Wreck-It Ralph, of all people! Will wonders never cease?"

With those words, Sorceress' mood turned sour again. Not as sour as before, though. There was nothing that could bring her down from the high she was experiencing. Nonetheless, she'd grown tired of her Good Guy's affably irritating presence. "Shouldn't you be out hunting monsters?" she said, fixing him with a very withering look. "Somewhere else, preferably _far away_ from here?"

He wasn't perceptive enough to notice the contempt in her voice, but the prospect of hunting distracted him from the topic, as it always did. "That's a first-rate idea! Perhaps I'll a pay a visit to _Hero's Duty_ tonight. I've been meaning to try my luck in battle against a Cybug or two." His mind made up, he turned to Ralph and Vanellope and bowed to them floridly. "Farewell, my friends. Until we meet again!" With that, he back flipped out the broken window and disappeared into the night.

Vanellope stared after him. "That guy's about as nutty as a PayDay bar."

Ralph nodded his head in agreement. "Yeah, with an extra-large side of fruitcake."

Just then, Roger the Cyclops appeared in the doorway holding a medium-sized carpet bag. He stood there and gaped with his single eye at the overturned furniture, scattered books and broken glass all over the floor. Then he looked up at his mistress, silently asking what in the world had happened here.

Sorceress had all but forgotten that she'd sent him fetch her séance kit earlier. Her demeanor remained as prim and proper as ever. "Thank you, Roger. You'd better go get the broom now."

* * *

Author's Note: There are a _lot_ of references in this chapter! Sorceress' castle is meant to look like Maleficent's castle in "Sleeping Beauty", though it borrows a few elements here and there from the Beast's castle and the Haunted Mansion. The book _Hurricane Irene: Nightmare From Above_ and the storm it produces are borrowed from "The Addams Family". Also, Roger the Cyclops is based on the Addams' butler Lurch, and Hunter is based on Prince Edward from "Enchanted."

Also, I don't know if anyone caught the reference about Sorceress' legendary magic tantrum yet. The dark spirits and green slime are borrowed from Wizard Howl's tantrums in "Howl's Moving Castle". Will she ever get angry enough in this story to throw such a tantrum? We shall see. For now, the next thing on the agenda is Date #2! Or #3, if you consider the wrecking fun in _Street Fighter_ a date.


End file.
